STORY 3
CONTEMPORARY UNRESPONSIBLE , UNFAITHFULL MOTHERS THAT ARE ALSO WITH SUBTLE KRONOS-MEDEA MORALITY. AN INSTRUCTIVE PARENTS-CHILD STORY.
0. THE ANCIENT MYTH
Ancient Medea was, a witch of the sun in Minor Asia, and the wife of the Hero Jason. Jason traveled with Hercules and the best heroes, of that time, in Minor Asia to take the "Golden Skin" a symbolic treasure. Jason had children with Medea in Minor Asia. Medea became famous in the mythology, as the mother and mistress that was slaughtering her own kids from her hate to Jason that abandoned her, to the way home. This novel is about contemporary women that in a subtler way act like Medea.
Ancient Medea was, a witch of the sun in Minor Asia, and the wife of the Hero Jason. Jason traveled with Hercules and the best heroes, of that time, in Minor Asia to take the "Golden Skin" a symbolic treasure. Jason had children with Medea in Minor Asia. Medea became famous in the mythology, as the mother and mistress that was slaughtering her own kids from her hate to Jason that abandoned her, to the way home. This novel is about contemporary women that in a subtler way act like Medea.
1. THE EARLY LOVE. SILDA'S HYPOCRISY AND SECRETE SCENARIO.
The contemporary story is about a young woman of the eighties called Silda. She is a Mediterranean woman figure, with charm, sufficient sophisticated who studies architecture and is a fanatic communist of a fanatic communist family which nevertheless is a high society family of the military class. Silda is virgin yet and she is in love with a young man called Peter, slightly younger than her, who studies mathematics , plays the guitar and who was more radical progressive than communists in the same direction as the left parties, but in longer time horizon and also with a non-theistic but metaphysical human existentialism, and cumming from low economic profile middle class family. It was Silda who chose Peter rather than Peter who chose Silda. This seemed convenient at that time to Peter, as Silda was expressing strong love to him, and he was not experienced enough to realize that such cases very easily evolve to situations against the male. Peter was also a beautiful , and very slim young man with strong speaking. Silda has a wicked married girl-friend that is usually the source of all bad influence on her. Silda had a very strong fear toward sex and Peter had hard time to convince her that sex was just, as innocent as the human body, and a blessed pleasure for good people. Silda had a long talk with Peter after 4 years of relations and somehow they agreed that their relationship has no meaning anymore and they would separate. Peter wanted to stop his relation with Silda because 1) Silda was a too much possessive girl and was giving too much significance of her control over Peter, in her relations with him. She was giving also too much importance in social power rather than existential integrity, truth and happiness. 2) Silda has a deep fear for sex. Gradually both Silda and Peter lost their desire to have sex often enough in their relationship. Silda told to Peter. "I agree Peter that we should separate, but I would like a child from you before we separate". Peter looked at her shocked and somehow terrified, as according to his sense of responsibility towards children, he did not find any good intentions in pre-determine the life of a child that his parents were already separated. Maybe he though Silda plans to exile him from the child's life plus replacing him with a DNA-fake father and the whole situation reminding him of the ancient Greek story of Medea who was killing her children, only here in a subtle way or the ancient Cretan story of Minotaur or Minosaur who fits perfectly to be Medea's new husband replacing the hero Jason . So he definitely disagreed that this is not a good idea at all!
2. THE SLIPPERY UNCERTAINTY. PETER IS DECEIVED BY SILDA, SO THAT SILDA GETS PREGNANT.
Both continued to see each other and they seemed to be somehow indecisive about the exact day of final separation. Peter should stop seeing Silda and definitely he should stop having sex with her since they discussed and agreed to separate, in spite the fact that Silda might have ask him to have sex. But they both felt still some affection for each other and it is a common mistake of couples to go one having sex sometimes after separating, especially when separation is not due to bold event of intervention of a third person but due to internal reasons of loss of the flame or other dysfunctions of the relation . During that time Silda is sleeping with an other man called Jack. She is afraid that she might get pregnant from that one-night sex. She rushes back to Peter to force Peter to have sex with her in fertile days that she really may get pregnant , by telling a lie to him about the fertile days. The way that Peter and Silda was preventing pregnancy during the 4 years of their relations was by counting the fertile days of Silda that had a very stable cycle, and they did not use any other method. This was another mistake that Peter was doing. Counting the fertile days depends on the awareness of the woman and not Perer's awareness, and Peter should use condoms all these 4 years, a way that is controlled completely by the awareness of Peter himself. Peter submits to the demand of Silda to have sex with her without knowing about Jack, and Silda indeed gets pregnant, and she does not know now whose the child is! No-one really knows! Silda is afraid to talk about it to anyone except her mother, and even to think that she might not got pregnant from Peter. Both Silda and Peter are University students at about the age of 22. Silda presses Peter to marry her. He refuses, reminding her that they decided to separate and at least suggests to postpone children and marriage until they have finished their studies, and get secure jobs and adequate finances and think more about it. It is an argument of mature responsibility for the child and themselves. In addition Peter feels that living with Silda and her family (parents) is quite close to emotional tyranny, and wants to avoid it. He suggest to Silda an abortion. The father and mother of Silda accuse Peter for being criminally irresponsible to suggests such a thing as abortion because abortions have dangers for he health of a woman. Peter remarks that this is hypocrisy as giving birth to a child generally involves much higher often unpredictable dangers for a woman. Silda declares determined to keep the child and she does so. The parents of Peter are in favor with any relation that Peter would chose , like that with Silda, but against an early marriage when neither Peter neither Silda had finished their studies and neither of them were yet able to support themselves financially.
3. THE FAKE MARRIAGE
Many friends of Peter advise him not to make any marriage at all , since their relation was over already when Silda got pregnant or about the time that Silda got pregnant. They told him that it will be a serious mistake of he would marry her under the circumstances. Of course this would be convenient to Peter since he new he had separated from Silda, but what would he tell to his child when she/he would grow up? The child would have serious reasons to be very angry and bitter with him for not recognizing it as his own child. The parents of Peter also suggest to postpone marriage till both Silda and Peter are able to support themselves financially. Peter is trying to be as much fair, responsible and correct under the current situations with all the subtle elements the interaction with Silda involves but also mistakes from both sides. He wants also to be fair with his emotions and the evolution of his relation with Silda so far that were in love for 4 years and that ended in the decision by both to separate. But this is really hard, and as he will not meet with a similar fair , decent and of good will attitude from the other side that of Silda, he will have as we shall see a really hellish and painful time. Peter wants to be responsible about a new born child as he believe it is his child, that in spite his disagreement to be born in such difficult situations it would be born. Peter submits to the demands of the parents of Silda and marries Silda, after her parents promising to him that they will separate just after 3 months, and that the marriage is only so that Silda is not considered as mother of a child of unknown father, which is not good for the child. Peter declares that his relation with Silda was already over before she got pregnant and that is how it will remain. The troubles that already they had, as a couple before, and the decision of Silda to stay with her fanatic communist family no matter what, the refusal of Silda to stay at the Peters parents house and the inability of both to support themselves financially , leads them in to direct separation, just after stepping out from the church in the ceremony of the marriage. After the church they both go at their parents houses separated. The ceremony of the marriage was in a small church with 5-6 of people only from the side of Silda and none from the side of Peter. Peter is naive to trust so much Silda and the parents of Silda, as he was believing in love and in the honesty and fairness of people. But he was wrong! From this point the troubles of Peter get even worse. After the ceremony of the marriage that was in the month of May, both Silda and Peter go one with their examinations in their Universities. These examinations are the last examinations for Peter, who this very summer gets also his bachelor degree in mathematics. But Silda has one more year of studies in her University. After the examinations they both go separated in different summer holidays. Peter goes alone in the forest of an island with his guitar , where he is meditating what to do with Silda, and it there where he decides that he will cancel going for postgraduate studies in USA, where he was accepted in the University of Pittsburgh , because he wants so see his child being born. The parents of Silda start doing their own mistakes now. The parents of Silda were not informed about the decision of Peter and Silda to separate before Silda got pregnant, they think that their current separation is due to the disagreements about pregnancy and keeping the child, or where to stay, and they estimate that Peter will return to the relations with Silda, and eventually he is going to stay at their house. This is what they say to everybody. So they assure Silda that this will happen giving a false prediction of future to her, but Silda knows better. When Peter comes back from the holidays, and visits the house of the parents of Silda, and the parents of Silda realize that Peter is interested only for the child and he would not restart his relation with Silda, and he will not stay in their house (something that Peter had already told them before the marriage but they were believing that Peter would change his mind although ), they started threaten Peter in any way the could asking him never enter their house again. And indeed this was so from then on. As we shall see later in the story, when Peter succeeded in the court of justice to have a decision to see his daughter , and was going to the Silda's parents house to take Lia, they did not let him in, he had to wait in the street, to bring to him Lia, from the 5th floor that was the apartment of the Silda's parents. A clear tactic showing the hostility and undesired of Peter contacting Lia.
4. THE BIRTH OF BEAUTIFUL LIA
The child is born after some month during December of the same year. It is a girl and is called Lia. Now the mistakes from the side of Silda strart in a chain reaction. Peter is not allowed to bring anyone from his relatives brother, mother etc to the hospital to see the new-born child, and even himself is allowed only in a restricted and limited way. Peter is humiliated and hurt my the exercise of power of the Silda's parents to the events relevant to the birth of Lia. He is treated as totally irresponsible and unworthy man. The dates of pregnancy and birth almost prove that it may not be the child of Peter , there is uncertainty but this is carefully hidden, by Silda and her mother to everybody, and from Peter that suspects nothing. There was not any DNA test at that time, neither anybody would suspect anything. Silda reacts to the denial of Peter to submit to her cunning plots with a cruel and maniac way probably trying to hide her guilt in the situation. The mistakes of Silda go on. She forbids Peter to see the baby. She presents an extravagant story to her family and social environment of her being such a victim of an irresponsible and stingy man like Peter. A close friend of Peter called Constantine becomes the Godfather of Lia, Now the mistakes of Silda are passed to Constantine. Peter is not even invited to the ceremony he is undesired, and Constantine believes everything that Silda tells him, betraying Peter, and essentially losing him as a friend. Peter sadly and with bitterness watches how the clever slanders of Silda are destroying his friendships and social environment. But Silda and her parents family who have a high social status and and were trying to get involved with masonry with no success have a secrete attraction and secrete promise for social power to all friends and people that they associate with them who easily betray and disassociate with any one that the family will accuse. On the other hand Peter's family was of the low economic status middle class, of state clerk coming from agriculture village family.
5. THE TORTURING OF PETER
Silda goes one with her mistakes. She is turning her 4 years love to hatred towards Peter. Silda openly declares to Peter that he is going to find the hell with her, now that she realizes that Peter is emotionally sensitive to the baby. Silda goes no with her mistakes and does not give divorce to Peter, neither is letting him to see Lia, until she shall find a new husband. Silda gets involved with various men, one after the other, until she is engaged with a new lover called Anyang. Silda does not give divorce to Peter during this time which of course gives and opportunity to Peter to get later a divorce which might be considered because of such unfaithful actions of Silda during marriage and even ask the court for monthly payments from Silda. But Peter is not that cunning and revenge oriented to do so. Silda with the help of her parents refuses to Peter to contact and see Lia. The logic they use is of the type "You never wanted that human being Lia to come to life, why now you want to see her?". This of course is nothing else but a cruelty to the emotions of Peter. Peter believes in the immortality of the human soul, and in reincarnation and even that souls most probably chose the parents that they incarnate as child of them. He also believes that the human existence starts when the immortal soul with her silver energy thread is connected to the heart center of the body. But for this to happen the nervous system of the human body must have been complete which is not certainly at the early stage of 1-2 months pregnancy. Later also the golden energy thread of the divine spirit is connected with the one of the main head nervous centers. And peter had advised Silda to make an abortion when she was 1-2 months pregnant so that any child that she would give birth would have both of her parents. When Silda refused to make an abortion, Peter decided and he expressed it so Silda that he would support any way he could the coming human existence. Peter of course explains and argues that he would never be against a human soul incarnating, on the contrary from responsibility to the coming experiences of this human soul he was against pre-deciding to be a child (Lia) of an already separated couple, and if the abortion would be done that soul would be incarnated probably to another child with normally married and not divorced parents. Therefore argues this argument is not valid and charges him with hostility against Lia that Peter never had or has.
Another argument they use against Peter contacting the child Lia, is that he is totally irresponsible and that he never gave not even a bottle of milk for the child. (The funny truth is of course that exactly two bottle of Milk Peter did give to Silda). In fact the main reason that they used to stop Peter from being in contact with Lia, was the financial. But the truth is that Silda new since her pregnancy that Peter had no money as a student. And it is nothing new now that after some months he cannot give money for Lia. Again this of course is nothing else than cruelty to the emotions of Peter. Peter had just finished his studies as mathematician, and he practically had no money to support the child, which was also one of the reason that he was against of keeping the pregnancy. Peters parents offered to Silda to stay in their house and support the child but Silda had refused. On the other hand Peter collected all his saving that he had from private lessons he was giving to pupils as a University student , he made some more such lessons and gave all his saving to buy a nice diamond jewel for Lia that gave to Silda, to have when she will be adult.
6. A FATHERHOOD BRUTALLY KILLED. WHEN THE PARENTS OF ONE OF THE COUPLE STRONGLY INTERVENE, AND WHEN ONE OF THE COUPLE REVERSES COUPLES LOVE TO HATRED.
When at a point of time Silda realized that Peter would never agree to go on with their fake marriage, she agreed for a friendly divorce. But one of the almost blackmailing conditions was that the baby Lia would not have the surname of Peter but only the surname of Silda. Peter did want the baby to have his surname, but he sadly had to submit to this demand of Silda in order to have the divorce going on. At this Peter is doing a mistake because he should insist in getting the divorce without Lia abandoning his surname. But he is doing this mistake because he does not know that later Silda would try to get married again immediately and unavoidably she would also want the divorce. Peter was afraid that Silda would not give him a divorce for many years if he would not submit in her demand that Lia loses his surname. The time goes on, and Peter is exiled from seeing and being with Lia. Silda multiplies her mistakes and arrogantly boasts to Peter that she conceived Lia not with Peter but with the "Lilly flower....." and as Peter did not give money he had no right to see Lia. Peter had not money at that time, and was bitter to realize how ugly, wicked , stupid and lair Silda had become that even fatherhood had to be bought with money, so that poor and forced to become father young men had no rights... Some days that Silda had clear mind to realize what she was saying and doing to herself , to Peter and Lia, with the money support of her parents, was collapsing psychologically and had the constant fear that Peter will gather some of his friend , and wait for a her one night that she is going back home to her parents and hit her wildly. But Peter was not a man of violence neither is doing such mistakes. Still Peter was getting very angry with what Silda was telling him, and he was certain that the bad karma that Silda was accumulating will hit her a future time that she was not expecting, from a direction she was not expecting and with a way she was not expecting. Silda boasts that she will arrange for father to be Anyang and the genetic father does not matter. Of course this is not really so, as such artificial or fake fathers are fathers only at the level of emotions of the child not at the level of the physical body. And common DNA means also common frequencies in the body. The DNA acts also transmitter and receiver of frequency that affect the consciousness. So its is a physical lock that affects more than we think the consciousness. Therefore a parent-child interaction which is from a DNA parent of the child also is a better parental function and integrates better the emotional and physical personality of he child. Meanwhile Peter is accepted for graduate studies in University in Pittsburgh USA, but as he feels that he wants to be in contact with his daughter Lia, he resign of going to USA. This decision will affect irreparable much in the negative his future carrier, but Peter is much emotional about the child to do otherwise. Finally after 3 years since the day of their fake marriage Silda gives a divorce to Peter, while during these 3 years got also engaged with Anyang (She would not give a divorce to Peter unless she was sure to find a new husband......still another egotistic and emotional brutal mistake.). Peter had already gone to the court of justice to ask for a communication with Lia as Silda and her parents did not let him too during the search for a new husband for Silda, and one year later to the divorce, finally while Silda is already divorced and married again with Anyang, the court of justice decides in favor of a communication of the Lia and the (thought as father so far by anybody, including the law) Peter. At that time Silda goes to the court of justice too and succeeds in having Peter giving monthly payment for the child, that was paid by the parents of Peter. In spite the decision ofthe court of justice Silda goes on with her mistakes and when Peter is trying to apply the courts decision and contact the baby, Silda shouts in maniac way that Peter will pay deadly for this. Silda's face had already become ugly by this time and her appearance with the choice of their cloths hardly reminded the charming Silda that Peter knew. As Peter hears Silda shouting in maniac way and threaten him, Peter feels the strong desire to take a stone from the ground as he is standing outside her house and throw it to her , but he is keeping his temper. Afterwards he remembered that, this was after all the tradition with such women, but Peter is not of the old predictable type of male. The stone also symbolizes the truth. Silda suddenly comes out of the house as if something scared her , with Lia crying in her hands ready to give Lia to Peter. Peter realizes that in spite the fact the he was won in the court of justice a decision for rightful communication with his child Lia, her monthe Silda and the parents of Silda have the power to make this communication to fail, by creating ugly angry shouting scenes in front of the child Lia, against Peter to communicate with Lia, which scenes and shouting scare Lia, and traumatize her feelings for any such communication and contact with Peter. Peter is very sad and is disgusted with the Medea-like attitude of Silda and her mother to make angry scenes and shouting in front of Lia, as he realizes that this is against the psychological balance of Lia but also against his attempt to play the role of the father and keep the parental equality. As we shall see later, although this tactic of ugly shouting scenes from Silda and her mother stopped somehow after sometime, it resulted later in to Lia getting fever when Peter was taking her for a walk, once Peter was absent for some months from communicating with Lia, because of his serving in the army. Now the mistakes of the parents of Silda are multiplying. Each time that Peter goes alone to take his child Lia, outside the house of Silda , the parents of Silda gather a dozen of people from their family friends to stop Peter or at least to make a show of power with ugly angry shouting scenes against Peter and in front of Lia, and against the one-man Peter and exercise psychological war to him which is observed by the child Lia who is present. The sister of Silda is like in a theatrical scenario is dressed in black like a black widow declaring that it is the funeral of Peter who is already dead , does not exist etc etc. One day, they even gave to Peter not Lia, but her cousin Marianne, the doughter of Sildas sister. Peter is starting thinking ("Are they insane? They think that I came in general for any child it does not matter who?" What Mariane has to do with it. If it is to come together with Lia ok, but why would Marianne come alone with me?"). At the same time after many visits to take Lia, Peter is observing that the energy substratum of the physical body of Lia (some people call it aether-body) is not of the frequencies and qualities of his own body. But after a couple of hours being together with Lia, it does become with the same energy-quality substratum as his own body, which is more transparent with more light and less viscosity than what Lia was when she took her. When for some reasons there is a longer time interval between two visits to see Lia, this difference is significantly observable, as it happened later as we shall see when Peter was absent in the army. Now Peter is completely awakened about that he should not trust the parents of Silda or Silda, and he is realizing the unequal battle that his is giving. Nevertheless he temporarily wins and goes one taking Lia in his car for a couple of hours every week as the court had decided. But this win will be temporary, as Lia is crying not believing him that he is her father , telling him that she is told that Anyanh is her father, and realizing what "army" of a dozen of people is gathered each time Peter is going to take her she does not want to go with Peter. And each time that Peter is going to take her is crying for at least 15-20 minutes before she accepts to go with Peter. This trouble Peter too much as definitely is not in his plan to make his visits an emotional drama for the child Lia. As we shall see later the final death bullet to his attempts to be fair with his role as a father will come from this attitude of Lia. Silda has succeeded with the financial and social help of her parents, the seemingly impossible: She has a child were at least three fathers are involved in realm of uncertainty. The possible genetic, Jack, that only Silda knows about it, Peter that is father at last according to the law, and is suffering from the whole story, and a new man , Anyang to grow up her child Lia and support her. Feminine egotism, and fear leads her to fail the honor of being a mother and a wife and became this that no-one wants. But this is not really noticed because of her lies. She is even afraid to think about what she has done. After all, she does not know herself who is the genetic father, and she prefers to think and make everybody think, that it is Peter. Nevertheless as she is afraid of the possibility that Peter may not really be the genetic father, she prefers, as a subconscious way out , to exile him with all her powers from her life. Silda wishes Peter to be dead.
Now the parents of Silda go one with their own mistakes. Although at the beginning were pressing to attract to the marriage Peter now they want to push Peter away from Lia, which was not forthe good interest to Lia, because that is their daughters Silda desire. They arrogantly think that they build any father they want for Lia....! The father of Silda talks to Peter and insists , that Peter should not be certain that he is the DNA father of Lia, that no-one really knows, there is nothing in the world that can prove it and that Peter should not insist to visit Lia as neither her mother neither Silda herself neither him is certain about it. The father of Silda is closing the one eye to Peter and tells him that he must not go on coming to see Lia, but he should go after other women to make his life! This shocks Peter! He is thinking : "This is either a new insanity that they try to apply to me while Lia is indeed my DNA-child or there is indeed a truth in it, and its is a favorable sincere warning". Peter decides to believe that it is not the truth, that he is the DNA-father of Lia and this is but just an insane psychological trick to push him away. It is important to notice that at that time the DNA-test had not been invented yet. This intervention and poisoning of Peter with doubts and talking of Silda father to Peter makes Peter feel that this is the last bullet of his "dying" fatherhood. But he goes one giving his battle.
From that point on her similarities with the ancient Medea increase. What would Silda ever be able to explain to her daughter Lia? That the genetic father is some one that she has never seen (Jack), that on the papers according to the law is someone else (Peter) and in every day life even another (Anyang), in case it was so? She makes her child Lia believe that her father is her new husband Anyang, while she succeeds in making the child almost ill, each time it was to see Peter, Peter is contacting the child every week according to his winning decision by the court. But the child Lia is crying a lot each time he is going to take her for a walk, as she is being told that Peter is not her father, but Anyang is. In addition they treat Peter with extreme hostility. Peter is trying to create a bond with his daughter and gradually to pass to her his principles and values as human being as normal father would do. He believes to the necessity of the parental equality in the growing up of a child. This is of course what all family psychologists believe too. But Silda wants strongly to break the parental equality, and keep only her and her new hatband Anyang as parents for Lia. All the efforts of Peter fail, as in his absence Silda and her parents still Lie to Lia about Peter. Lia nevertheless after some months acquires a good relation with Peter and she is not crying anymore so much. She starts believing Peter that he is her father. But she is very young yet only 3-4 years old. One day she says to Peter "If you love me please do not come to take me for walks anymore". Peter gets sad about it as he realizes that Lia is very young yet to understand that what she is asking him is not to her good interests as she is growing up. There is nothing essentially wrong in the way that Peter was communicating with Lia, neither anything essentially wrong with the personality of Peter. After all Peter was assessed by Silda in the past, as her good desired husband and desired father for her daughter. And Peter is the same man. But what was wrong was that now the attitude of Silda was not wanting to communicate with Peter, and the same she wanted, because of egotism and irresponsible motherhood for her daughter Lia. Silda is a person who cannot have even simple social friendship with her ex-boyfriends. It seems that she does not possess this emotional intelligence. Of course things get grave when there is a child too. Peter knows that when love is prevented from existing, and in that case of him as father and his daughter Lia then this is not good for both. In fact he is believing that this is bad for the world as a whole. For Peter the world has two separate islands that of the Platonic virtues of Beauty, Intelligence, Truth and Goodness and another island of the Ugliness, Stupidity, Lies and Wickedness. Now he is afraid that while Lia with him she would be on the side of Beauty, Intelligence, Truth and Goodness, now she is gradually absorbed by Silda her mother, to the side of Ugliness, Stupidity, Lies and Wickedness. Lia is growing up in a multi-family environment (that family of Silda and her parents too) who is much arrogant about their high social status, with affiliations with high ranks of the army and always trying to get involved with masonry with no success, while Peter is much more humble from a much poorer family with no high social status. Peter goes to the army now, and sees Lia less often.
When Peter comes back from the army, the mistakes of the parents of Silda and Silda are even more. The barrier of hostility against Peter is raised even higher and even the teachers to the nursery school of Lia are bend with brιbery or intimidation and talked not to allow Peter to contact Lia, in spite the fact the Peter has a decision by the court for this. Peter realizes that this hostility against him is too much for him to overcome, especially when Lia is also bend to it. Peter realizes that he has not sufficient social power and energy to overcome the hostility from the family of Silda against him, he is one person only after all, against a dozen of person each time he goes there, when he is trying to do his function as father to Lia while at the same time he must also try to make the rest of his life and his postgraduate studies. The claims of Sildas father that it is very probable that his is not the DNA father of Lia, has taken the certainty from him for the correctness of his efforts. He had chosen to insist though, because he is thinking that when Lia will be an adult woman he wants to be able to stand for the role that at least the legal papers have for him as her father. After a couple of years contacting Lia, after all these obstructions put by Silda and her parents , plus the demand of Lia to stop seeing her, and after he comes back from the army, he stops seeing Lia who at that time is not more than 5 years old. In his one before last visit of Peter to Lia, Lia gets fever as Peter is told next time he comes, in spite the fact that it is summer! Peter realizes that all this on purpose drama of ugly angry shouting scenes in fron of Lia, by Silda and her mother against Peter, had done the work of traumatizing the subconscious of Lia, who now suffers secretly when Peter is taking her for walks, because Lia knows down to her subconscious that her mother and grandmother and the other people in her house from which she depends, did not want and probably still do not want Peter to come and visit her. A last attempt by peter after ending his serving in the army, is to go to the nursery school where Lia is going daily to see her, so as to avoid going at her mothers house. But even there the teachers are told not to let Peter see Lia. The teacher claims that they are told to allow only the people that bring Lia at school to see her, during intermissions.
Now Lia is already at least 6-7 years old and Peter adds up all the events and the happenings since pregnancy till now to see what she is going to do. If he shall go on trying or stop at least temporarily. We must mention here that many friends and other relatives that watched the events and battle of Peter to communicate with his daughter , tell him and direct language "thsi is a crime what they are doing with your daughter"Or "Stop Peter trying to communicate with your daughter! Don't you see that they are trying to revenge you for not continuing your relation with Silda?" or "Dont you see that they are afraid that they are going to lose the second husband of Silda as well, so they are trying to push you away?" "Stop going there, and let them ask you later, to see Lia. Or let Lia come to you as she is getting older".
Peter to have clear image of what he decides , writes down a list of 11 factors that makes him stop at least for the moment to communicate with Lia, and 5 factors that would allow him to go on and keep the parental equality, The next are the 11 and 5 factors respectively.
Peter stops communicating with Lia because
1. The parents of Silda had for-bitten Peters parents and any other relative of Peter to vist and see the baby, when it was born in the hospital, with the exception of Peter only.
2. They had put the dilemma to Peter a) Either you shall keep on having a relation with Silda, or yoy cannot communicate and have contact with the child (no parental equality). Which of course by all standards of the society is a wrong attitude against the right growing up of any child.
3. In spite the fact that the marriage was fake, and both Silda and her mother new it, Sildas father was expecting that Peter would change his mind , and just before the child was born, and Peter assured him that he shall not continue any relation with Silda, he got very ungry, starting shouting and through Peter, outside his house, where nevertheless, the child would grow up the first 5-6 years. And indeed Peter never entered again thiw house, and when he had to visit and take Lia for a walk, he had to wait in the street to bring her to him.
4. Instead of the promise to take a divorce within 3 months after the fake marriage which was only so as to recognize Lia as his child, they gave him divorce after 3 years. In between thsi time of course Peter and Silda were not in any relation, but Silda tried several lovers till he found his new husband Anyang to marry.
5. In order to give him divorce, they asked him , that Lia will have not his surname but only Silda's surname.
6. During this marriage and while Silda was trying her lovers, they forbid Peter to communicate with Lia. The excuse was that Peter was not giving money to support, but Silda already new since her pregnancy that Peter as a student was not working and had no money to give.
7. Silda had told him angrily in front of his face, that now that Peter would want yo see Lia, she would make him suffer. And indeed this is what happened, but unfortunately Lia also was suffering too with this Silda tactic.
8. In spite the fact the Peter won the case in the court of justice to communicate with Lia, Silda and her mother created ugly angry shouting scenes in front of Lia, which made lia not wanting Peter to communicate with her.
9. The father of Silda challenged and doubted to Peter, that Lia is also his DNA child, and pushed him to find other women and have children. At that time the DNA test was not known yet.
10. The were humiliating and making Peter feel guilty for coming and communicating with his child, and was leting him wait in the street to give Lia to him, instead of telling him, "Come up and sit to drink a glass of water , till we dress Lia to go outside"
11. The whole attitude, especially from the side of the father of Silda, was the next , altough they never told him exactly these words to him "Please Peter, do not come anymore. Silda cannot handle emotionally the situation that she has created with Lia, and you and her new husband. If you keep coming, we will lose also this next husband. Please Peter stop coming". In addition the deep emotional-belief-characterological based structure of the attitude of Silda, (also supported by her mother) wants to break the parental equality (and temporarily it did in the past, which led Peter to go to the court of justice to try to restore it) , was the next wrong hidden sequence of arguments and strong emotional identifications "Peter does not want me, the Silda anymore, therefore I do not want him anymore, and I did my best to hurt him in trying to communicate with our child Lia and by not giving him divorce while I was finding a next husband that will support me. Therefore my child must not want him also, because I identify myself with my child. I do not care if I traumatized my child Lia also as I was yelling against Peter and kept by hostility and accusations. It suits me, as this will be the base that Lia will not want Peter also, and as Lia will be growing up this will make her be like me and not like her father"
12) Peter feels that what Silda with the support of their parents was doing around Lia and against Lia, was not less than a crime, a subtle Medea's crime, that he could not stop it, but he did not want also to be part of it, he did not what to be an accomplice to such a subtle crime. Peter went to a child-psychologist and told them the situation. Lia was playing happily with him, but when she had to go back to her mother , she was confessing to Peter that "Now I must show an unhappy face to my mother" The Child-psychologist said that the problem is not created by Peter but by Silda, and that Peter can do nothing neither now neither in the future as long as Silda, was keeping this hostile and wrong attitude against Peter, and against Peter's contact with Lia. The child-psychologist recommended that Peter should stop contacting Lia. And that in the future , Peter might have a chance of success only if Silda herself wanted that Lia is contacting Peter, and was asking Peter to contact Lia. If this does not happen, then only after many decades when Lia would be fully grown up and an independent personality and lady, then only, there might exist a chance of Lia resolving all this false moral-emotional reality in which she was growing up, and might have good relations with Peter again. Lia is now 7 years old. If we assume that the duration till her becoming adult is till 17 years old, then Peter has tried for 7/17=41% of the available time to play his role of father well, but the hostile attitude of Silda has made it fail, at the psychological cost, mainly of her daughter Lia. Peter according to the decision of the court of justice had 3-4 hours per week time to contact Lia, but her mother Silda, had all the week, that is 164 hours, and unfortunately she was undoing and fighting any positive attitude that Peter was trying install to Lia for their interaction. All friends , Peters parents and the child psychologist have recommended to Peter to stop contacting Lia, as this is not only harmful for her, not because of him but because of the attitude of her mother, but also very harmful for any reasonable role of father. So Peter has one more reason to stop: To safeguard the correct role of a father to the daughter, that unfortunately at the young age till her becoming adult cannot be conducted without a mutual consent of both parents a mutual basic friendly and mutual respectful relation of both the parents between them.
Besides Lia, Peter must consider also himself as he could never play a respectful role as father , and respectful role socially for himself ad his goals in his life, if he would accept to exhaust all of his energy and efforts for the sake of Silda taking revenge of him because he decided to separate from her. Especially if this accepting of Silda going on revenging him was also hurting Lia.
13) If in the future, from the 41% till 100% (17 years old of Lia), Silda and her parents would understand their mistake and change attitude thus becoming favorable to Peter contacting Lia and playing, with respect by them, his role as a father, Peter was with an open door, ready to accept to play his role , what ever was left of it anyway. Peter was not a man of revenge, but a man who tries to by fair. And given the so hostile attitude by Lia mother which forced him to stop, fairness in interactions between people requires that Lia's mother must make now the first step to restore any contact in the future. Unfortunately , this never happened as we shall see, which also proves that Silda never really changed her attitude till Lia becoming 17 years old. Peter was afraid of that, but still he was considering that not everything would be lost, because as Lia would become adult and even better financially independent in the future, she could contact Peter with her own free will, restoring good relations of her and Peter, and going on with a love even only as adults social friends due to her adult age.
Someone may notice that for Peter stopping contacting Lia, is exactly what Silda was wanting due to her arrogant egotism and inability to handle her oun doings with getting pregnant but failing not to separate with Peter. Also Silda at a best version of her attitude, that might not be assessed as revenge to Peter for separating her, wanted to charge and accuse also Peter as irresponsible for not contacting anymore Lia. So Peter was feeling that he was "called"by Silda to an attitude , which again was not his true attitude. That attitude forced by Silda could be described with the next words. "Go to hell Peter! Why you do not want to understand? Go away! Forget the child! Leave it as a present from you to me. Do not become a foolish sentimental father. Do not give money! My own father as a University professor has sufficient money to support me growing it up. Are you so foolish to be around my life now that I have a new husband? I do not even know myself if the child Lia is yours. Go away! Make your own children with other women and make your own life! This is my love to you."
Now Peter would not agree to that too! He din not want to be part or an accomplish of such an attitude too! Indeed it would be convenient to him to go away, and abandon Lia, if he was an inconsiderate and irresponsible man. But he was not! Silda could not predict that Peter was so much considering Lia and his role to Lia. Of course as we said Peter for other reasons had to stop contacting Lia, mainly due to the war to him by Silda, a war that Lia was paying the negative effects. One may ask And what is the difference in these two attitudes as the result is the same? Well the result and actions are not the same. If what Silda was claiming was true, then if in the future Silda changed her mind and asked Peter to start contacting Lia again, then Peter would answer "Go away! It is too late! I am not interested!" But if the reasons and attitude of Peter as he was feeling them were true then in such an occasion, Peter would reply "Thanks God! You change your mind! Of course I will be coming to see Lia". And as we shall see in the next after many years when Lia was adult and financially independent it was again Peter, who tried to contact Lia, proving the truth of his attitude and causes.
And as contrary Peter wrote down 5 factors that would make him continue communicating with Lia.
Peter would go communicating with Lia, as all other normal such divorced parents if
1. The parents of Lia had not forbid his parents and all his relatives to visit and see the baby Lia when she was born in the hospital, with the exception of Peter himself.
2. They would give him divorce in 3 months after the marriage as they ha promised since they new and had agreed that it was a fake marriage so as only to recognize Lia as his child.
3. Not to ask him , that Lia would have not his surname.
4. To appreciate that Peter did the fake marriage although he had stopped his relation with Silda since the 1st month of pregnancy, so as to recognize Lia as his child, and that he was determined to keep the parental equality, so that Lia would grow up in balanced and true way, as all other children of divorced but responsible parents.
5. Finally to accept him to communicate with Lia, without creating on purpose ugly angry shouting scenes from the side of Silda and her mother against him, and in front of Lia, that made Lia not wanting to communicate with Peter. Instead to encourage him to communicate with her and assist him on that.
6. In addition that the deep emotional-belief-characterological based structure of the attitude of Silda, (that should also supported by her mother) should be the right one.In other words the next "Peter does not want me, the Silda anymore, therefore I do not want him anymore, but our child is a different existence. I ,as a mother of this child I have the responsibility to keep the parental equality for the sake of the good emotional background of Lia. My new husband can play a helpful role for me and Lia, but as a responsible and fair human being and mother I should not try to impose to Lia, that this is to substitute the communication with her true father Peter. I must not hurt Peter, or try to be hostile or insulting and humiliating. Beside me Silda I have made my own mistakes. Peter, as well as me too, have the respected right to decide not to be both of us a couple anymore. But instead I must encourage Peter, that, in spite his initial unwillingness to start a marriage and a child growing, he is trying, in the measure of his conditions of time and money, to be fair and responsible to his role as father. Even if Peter will stop seeing Lia because of my past temporal mistakes an attitudes, I must call him and ask him for forgiveness and ask him to communicate with Lia, or send Lia to him, now and later. If Peter does not have sufficient time or money for this role, I must be reasonable and not accuse him or make it a reason to break the parental equality. I must not try to have full one-sided control over Lia, as this will not be good for her mental and emotional balance and fate, I must encourage her to communicate with her father. "
In over all Peter finds unfair and useting the attitude and strategy of Silda, who unfortunately passed her lie-dogmas to her daughter Lia. The main reasons he finds it unfair and of evil spirit and will are the next
1) It is true that Peter considered keeping the child by the pregnant Silda inappropriate given that their love relations had somehow already failed already before he was pregnant with Lia and given they both were University students yets without income and without established work. In addition to that Peter was strongly suspecting (and partially only proved that Silda hasa lso another parallel love affair leading him not to know who's child really was Lia. No DNA test at that time yet)
2) Nevertheless since Silda decided to keep the child , he accepted to recognize it by marring her with a pre-agreed to divorce fake marriage and keep the parental equality by giving the time , energy and money that he could afford in his age which was only 22 years old. Of course no true relations with Silda could occur and after the divorce of the fake marriage only parental equality and contact should be sustained.
3) In spite his generous offer with his attitude to the immature and irresponsible tactics of Silda, Silda together with her parents and sister tries to do everything to put obstructions to the communication and contact of Peter with Lia. When the court of justice decided a contract and communication of Peter with Lia and this was tried , they did everything to hurt Peter , by hurting Lia too (yelling against Peter in front of the 4-years old child, telling lies that Peter was not the father of Lia etc). They should appreciate the generous offer of Peter and should welcome and facilitate and support his decision to keep the parental equality and communication with Lia.
4) Given this unfair , extreme and dangerous attitude of Silda and her family , Peter decided to stop communicating with Lia, as Lia was showing clearly that she was suffering and traumatised with communicating with Peter , after a decision by a court of justice , given that her family did not want it and sabotaged it. But his door was open. He would accept to communicate any time Silda would changed her attitude or Lia, was curious and willing to contact Peter as she was growing.
5) Peter discovered after 30 years that not only they did not changed attitude on this but they had raised Lia with dogmatic lies of the type that responsible for Peter not communicating with Lia was Peter and Peter was a bad person because he left pregnant Silda and abandoned her in early months of pregnancy.
Also these developments and the way the Silda and her family broke the parental equality , was a beyond doubt confirmation to Peter, that his decision not to have his life as a couple with Silda, were correct and wise. Peter would never spend his life , and could not love a woman that would broke the parental equality , especially in the way that Silda did. Even if this was to Silda's ex-love or husband over a child not by Peter. Peter can forgive Silda, but he could never love so as to spend his life with Silda , especially in view of how she broke the parental equality and that she wanted to break it. Peter wanted to spent his life with a much more fair person with deeper goodness in the heart and not superficial goodness on the surface only, He would want a person that in such situations of divorce and involved children is not so easily and willingly drifted to hatred , negative empathy and unfair attitudes based on lies.
And Peter, he would not even want to have a devoted friend (superficial friend only maybe) who would be a woman and who would have done so to one of his friends! Peter would prompt in such a case and say to such a friend "What you have done, to break the parental equality and the way you did it is not right. Why you do not correct it ?"
Peter also realized that he could not trust Silda and her parents in the future, as essentially good and fair people at least as far as this situation is concerned, so that he could deal with them in the future to contribute in his role to raise Lia.
So Silda wins in her game to break the parental equality and Peter lost the war, in spite of his battles and the temporary success of the court of decision to communicate with his child!
But as we shall see Peter wins the war on a higher level. At the level of wise and fair attitude and behavior, at the level of truth, goodness better emotional intelligence and better ideals for the fate of a growing child. And finally at the level of health and freedom as having lost now the war of succeeding in communicating with his child, at least he is free to go on with other deeper plans in his soul consciousness.
Peter feels that his main goal of this incarnation and life is to develop a soul perception of the happening and state of the earthly civilization. A liberating soul perception, in sociology, physical sciences, economy , etc that will help many other people to vision and pursuit activities and changes of institutions, for a better civilization that will evolve faster.
Peter realizes that inspite the fact that he wishes to see Lia and help her grow up, if the side of her mother does not want , and they express it in many ways, it is futile to keep trying, as this situation hurts everyone involved. He realizes that he does not have time to hate people that hate him, as he spends his time loving those that love him. He does not have time to be hostile to people that are hostile to him, he spends his time being friendly to people that are friendly to him. He does not have time to dishonor people that dishonor him, because he is spending his time to honor those that honor him. He hopes that as Lia will grow up and become 10, 15, or 17, or 18 years old and as the children usually make their revolution against their mother and father that she will come to discover who is really her father (at least according to the legal papers) . He wonders where is the limit of the slander towards him from the family of Silda. Will they reach the point of saying to Lia in the coming years that Peter her father is an alcoholic , or drag addict or homosexual , or insane, or idiot-jerk, or mad etc to persuade her not to find him? Peter does not trust them anymore. After some months Peter stops paying money too Silva because he also stopped from seeing her after so much hostility that was shocking the child too. Peter was hoping that if Silda would react to this he would press for less hostility when taking Lia for walks. But Silda has sufficient much money from her parents and she wanted Peter away from her, being afraid that maybe Anyang seeing Peter around might leave her too, as not liking it. Silda in her hypocrisy says to everybody around her that not paying money anymore to her, Peter proves how irresponsible he is, and that is so convenient to him to run away from his responsibilities.
After the application of the decision of the court of justice by Peter,to communicate with Lia, Silda went also to the court of justice and asked for support money. Of course the court of justice decided that Peter should give money for Lia. As Peter was now a post-graduate student he still did not have money, and the money were given for Lia by his father. But when Peter decided that he cannot go on with the communication because of the way that Silda traumatized Lia, and because Lia was getting sick when Peter was taking her , and stopped seeing her, after his time in the Army, he went on giving money to Silda without communicating with Silda. Nevertheless after some time he asked his father to stopped giving her the money. His strategy was to force Silda to ask again for money , because of the decision of the court of justice, in which case he would also press for a different attitude from Silda. But Silda never asked for money anymore! Which was also a clear indication that Silda did not want Peter to communicate with Lia, as she did not want so in the past when Peter went to the court of justice to ask for communication with Lia. If Silda wanted the parental equality, she would insist that Peter gives money for Lia. From the side of Peter, if Peter had an abundance of money he would not mind to pay for Lia, even if he would not communicate with Lia. But he still had no sufficient money of his own, as he was a post-graduate student. Peter was thinking that even if in the future he would have money to pay, this, as it was proved so far, would not be a guarantee, that the attitude and desire by Silda to break the parental equality would have been eliminated. At least, Peters consciousnesses was in comfort that Lia would not lack of money and support for her growing up, because this growing up was sufficiently supported by the parents of Silda, that due to their high social status had also high income. The parents of Silda now were paying for the irresponsible desires and doing of their daughter. Peter was not considering it unfair, due to the way that things had developed, and due to his essentially forced broke of the parental equality and his communication with Lia.
Peter understands in some part of the mind of Silda, Silda is trying also to think in a "positive" for her and Peter way, when breaking the parental equality. Thinking like this "Well Peter since you did not want from the beginning a marriage and growing a child , and I forced you in this situation, I am doing a favor to you, in trying to make you not wanting to communicate with the child, and that I am trying to persuade you with all kinds of awful and hurting behaviors not to be involved in the growing of the child. Consider it as a kind of secrete remaining love for you. Give me also this love to me to raise this child by my own only breaking the parental equality"
But Peter does not agree with it. He does not want to agree. As a proverb by a poet says "When a calamity seems to pay a benefit, consider it a horn" He cannot accept for himself as desirable and at the first place decided by him, to act against the interest of a growing child , his child. At this point is that Peter is differentiated to Silda. Silda is willing or not, initiating a situation that like a subtle Medea , looks at first her egotism and emotional interests with the financial expenses of her parents, and does not hesitate hurting her child with yelling in front of her, against Peter, and furthermore that she is trying to make Peter and Lia not to want to communicate each other. While Peter is much more fair. Although it would be convenient not to recognize the child and not make the fake marriage he did both, and furthermore he went to the court of justice to be able to communicate with Lia. Peter prefers that since the child will be born and is born, that it is better to have parental equality, and from his side as much as it is feasible from the point of view of time and money.
Peter also remembers the mother of Silda many years ago, when of all these had not happened yet, to talk in an authoritative way that, growing a child means needing mother only and not a father too. She was giving as an example the nature and the wild animals like Lionesses that raise their cabs, while the lion is seldom seen again. But Peter does not agree! This is for the wild beast of a special kind he thinks is not for people, it is not even like these for all animals.
7. THE 7 YEARS OF DEPRESSION OF PETER. A LOST PARENTAL LOVE. THE TRAPPING OF PETER IN HIS COUNTRY AND HIS LATER EVOLUTION.
Peter is finishing a PhD in mathematics in his country with much difficulty, as for 7 years after he stopped seeing Lia she falls in depression. The whole story evolves more than 80% as Silda was wanting in a hidden way and as Peter deeply did not want. This is also a simple proof that Silda was more than 80% responsible for the created situation or the mistakes against Lia, and Peter less than 20%. responsible for this. That he falls in depression is apparent from the fact that he stops playing the guitar. The guitar was a very important positive and social emotional factor for Peter, since the time he was a pupil. Now he is quite sad to want to play the guitar. Peter returns to the guitar only after 35 years when he is old and on the occasion of camping reunion with other friends of him that they played altogether musical instruments. Peter feels that his "world" is broken because of this story. many friends of him, believed Silda rather than him, and turned against him. Peter now realized who was really his friend who was not. As a student Peter had the ambition to "climb" to the social status of the civilization. Now he realizes that this is not what he really wanted but rather to transcend the social status with better human principles and values that those that the social status is realizing. Peter soon becomes a radical futurist in the sciences , economy and sociology, and soon he is awakened about the presence of the aliens on earth. He writes music poems and science fiction books. Peter finds soon his real meaning of life and a reason that he was born in this planet. He writes books give lectures and becomes a University professor in his late forties .
8. THE BROKEN PARENTAL EQUALITY AND ITS SUSPECTED MEANING.
Peter feels that he had done his part, initially by going to the court of justice to win a case of communication with Lia, but had stopped him, with many ways. He has no indication that Silda and her parents have now a different attitude, where they do want him to communicate with Lia, without creating new impossible to overcome obstructions. He was thinking that when Lia would be 10-11 years old they could simle give him a phone call telling something like. Come Peter to see Lia, it is good that Lia sees her father" He would accept of course. But also when Lia was 17,18,20 years old he was expecting a phone call by Lia, that she was asking to get to know him. But none of these happened!
Silda plans to explain to her daughter, when she shall be a grown up girl, that her real father is that one in the legal papers, but that he was a very bad and irresponsible man, from whom she saved her. Of course this is all lies. Peter was considered and desired by Silda her good and perfect husband and father to her child. But as soon as she realized that Peter will not submit to her desires and will not be a couple with her, she automatically started considering him bad and irresponsible and thsi was trying to pass to her child too, identifying her with her child. She understands that when Lia shall grow up she might want to meet Peter, but she already knows, that it shall be too late for Peter or Jack to really be a father at all for her daughter Lia . So her plans shall be successful after all, no matter what. Silda would have succeed nothing by her own , if she was to be alone. All that she succeeded, was with the blind or even encouraging help of their parents, that were ready to pay for everything, and which made them even more irresponsible than Silda. Silda also tries to get involved with masonry with no success to take power on what she desires, and yet some how seems not unsuccessful. What is she hoping? To coin her precious mystery in masonry, that fatherhood and motherhood are not equal in honor and that they can be bought and sold with money? As far as the possibility of a true genetic father being Jack is concerned, he is never to know about it! Neither her daughter of course. She cannot imagine that science one day will discover a DNA test for it. And also she does not want to feel guilty, as she does not really know who the genetic father is. She does not realize how she slips in subtle crimes like a subtle Medea attitude. She has so much accused Peter of being so irresponsible and she fails to realize how much irresponsible, she is herself, like this as a mother. She thinks that time, money, cloths and food is all she needs to prove herself a good mother. She hates Peter that she abandoned her, she hates also subconsciously her daughter Lia as Medea did with Jason's children. There are women that have the ability to love a man with too much power , but when the relations ends they keep this love and do not make it hatred. But there are woman that inverse such a strong love to hatred. Silda is one the latter types of persons with much hypocrisy . As a proverb says she is in secretly bad in the volume of Pounds and openly good at the size of cents. But she does not really understands it. As we said Peter understanding that the child gets an almost nervous shock each time, he is to go and take it with him, she abandons finally his attempts to play the role of father to Lia. It is already almost 7 years that he has been trying. He thinks that after some time Silda shall bring her daughter Lia to him by her own will. He was wrong! 20 years passed and this never happened! Peter thinks that what worked was a wrong emotional and belief "equations" that Silda created in her subconscious and created in the subconscious of Lia too with the help of her father and mother. And these subconscious "equations" are "Peter does not want me, the Silda anymore, therefore I do not want him anymore, and I did my best to hurt him in trying to communicate with our child Lia and by not giving him divorce while I was finding a next husband that will support me. Therefore my child must not want him also, because I identify myself with my child. I do not care if I traumatized my child Lia also as I was yelling against Peter. It suits me, as this will be the base that Lia will not want Peter also, and as Lia will be growing up this will make her be like me Silda and not like him. So the communication has stopped the for the sake of her emotional welfare ( a danger not really created by Peter to Lia, but by Silda to Lia if Peter was to communicate with Lia). I do not care I broke the parental equality. Emotionally this suits me, as I have full unobstructed control over Lia and I made also my daughter like me , in other words not wanting to communicate with her father too. As years passed , it was easy to persuade Lia, that it was her father Peter who did not want to communicate with her , and not me Silda , as it was really so. The persuasive argument to Lia is . "Look your father did not want you, if he did, he would be coming and see you and pay money! Me, on the other hand, I would want that you communicate with your father for your own good" (Here of course is silenced the next obvious question: "If it was so, and since Silda pushed Peter away and broke the parental equality , it is Silda's responsibility to restore the parental equality and why not ask him to come and see Lia, or send Lia to see him?" ) . And Lia not being aware of the details of the way that parental equality broke, will believe the false attitude and explicit or implicit such lies. "
Lia's subconscious was shaped indeed in this way and now Lia, feels sad and disappointed as she believes that it is mainly Peter's decision to abandon her, not come to see her again, while she is absorbed more and more by the influence of her mother. Lia makes Univesity studies identical with that of her mothers and she works at the professional office of her mother and step-father. She depends financial on them, so the fears of Peter do come true: Lia is one-sided absorbed my the control of her mother so she has the subconscious denial to see her father Peter, which she rationalizes with various excuses, is dominating her.
Meanwhile as the years passed he started to figure out gradually, that in reality there might be a second reason for the absolute not contacting him either by Silda or Lia. He starts suspecting that Lia is indeed not his DNA child as the father of Silda has warned him, but probably of someone else that Silda is hiding, and that the reason that Lia, never come to see him even when she was adult , is that her mother Silda does not want her to do so , as Silda knows now that there is a DNA test, and she is afraid that Peter might ask for a DNA test. Peter gradually realized that her hatred was not really especially for him, but was a general political hate for the world as Silda knows it and a way to hide her guilt . A hate, much like the communist propaganda to the rest of the world. Silda had made her own personal Soviet-Union , that was her family! This and the fact that Silda never appeared with her daughter Lia again, tend to prove to him that this was the case. Peter, had escaped in an endless sequence of love affairs with other women mainly for sex, but with few of them he had fallen seriously in a romantic love so as to discover his lost completeness. He notices, that Silda is doubling the role of a father , for her feminine egotism and destroying the parental equality. He gets his comfort in thinking that after all a child can have not less than four of mothers: The genetic, a second who carries in her womb the embryo, a third that is growing it up, and still an other fourth according to the papers and the law! To counter act the "Ibsen" triangle: a woman and two men, he starts and an endless sequence of opposite triangles: a man and two women. His story is mixed with adventures in cultural creativity and the dominating ideas of the time. With this ends the first part of the novel.
In over all Peter finds unfair and useting the attitude and strategy of Silda, who unfortunately passed her lie-dogmas to her daughter Lia. The main reasons he finds it unfair and of evil spirit and will are the next
1) It is true that Peter considered keeping the child by the pregnant Silda inappropriate given that their love relations had somehow already failed already before he was pregnant with Lia and given they both were University students yets without income and without established work. In addition to that Peter was strongly suspecting (and partially only proved that Silda hasa lso another parallel love affair leading him not to know who's child really was Lia. No DNA test at that time yet)
2) Nevertheless since Silda decided to keep the child , he accepted to recognize it by marring her with a pre-agreed to divorce fake marriage and keep the parental equality by giving the time , energy and money that he could afford in his age which was only 22 years old. Of course no true relations with Silda could occur and after the divorce of the fake marriage only parental equality and contact should be sustained.
3) In spite his generous offer with his attitude to the immature and irresponsible tactics of Silda, Silda together with her parents and sister tries to do everything to put obstructions to the communication and contact of Peter with Lia. When the court of justice decided a contract and communication of Peter with Lia and this was tried , they did everything to hurt Peter , by hurting Lia too (yelling against Peter in front of the 4-years old child, telling lies that Peter was not the father of Lia etc). They should appreciate the generous offer of Peter and should welcome and facilitate and support his decision to keep the parental equality and communication with Lia.
4) Given this unfair , extreme and dangerous attitude of Silda and her family , Peter decided to stop communicating with Lia, as Lia was showing clearly that she was suffering and traumatised with communicating with Peter , after a decision by a court of justice , given that her family did not want it and sabotaged it. But his door was open. He would accept to communicate any time Silda would changed her attitude or Lia, was curious and willing to contact Peter as she was growing.
5) Peter discovered after 30 years that not only they did not changed attitude on this but they had raised Lia with dogmatic lies of the type that responsible for Peter not communicating with Lia was Peter and Peter was a bad person because he left pregnant Silda and abandoned her in early months of pregnancy.
9. THE 2ND DIVORCE OF SILDA.
In the second part the story goes like this The second marriage of Silda was not successful. It was after all a fast solution to save her at difficult times. Her second husband Anyang sooner or later discovered that although he was much favored by her, in all matters, what she did to Peter, was not really in favor for any man, or any father. He never really dared to make a child with Silda, and after some years he divorced her and married another woman called Reptuna.
10. MONEY BUYS FATHERHOOD, SOCIAL FAMILY MORALITY AND CHILD'S MORAL LIBERTY.
Silda left alone, with her daughter Lia , was suddenly found in a difficult position, especially as she felt the demand of Lia to meet and get to know, the man that on the papers was mentioned as her father, namely Peter. Lia studies architecture as her mother and Silda succeeds in controlling Lia and making Lia depend on her also in her job, by joining her in the profession as architects. Silda although cannot acquire a secrete position in masonry hierarchy, which would gives her social power and abundance of money, seemingly from her profession as architect has a friend who does which gives her social powerful network customers . This is also a very powerful weapon to control Lia, who is forced due to the financial crisis to work also in her mothers office with all the big customers that the friend in masonry provides and the big money they bring. Money seems to be able to buy everything even family morality, fatherhood, and child's moral liberty.
Meanwhile Peter, who is not young anymore, having realized the fake of the situation, is not anymore in an endless adventure with women. Finally Peter meets a nice woman called Marilee in a foreign country, that he marries and has children with her. With this ends the second part of the novel.
11. THE YEARS OF TRUTH? THE DNA TEST AND THE MANY VERSIONS OF THE STORY. THE SERENITY TO ELIMINATE OLDER SLANDERS AND MISTAKEN ATTITUDES. THE LATER PERSONALITY OF LIA.
The contemporary story is about a young woman of the eighties called Silda. She is a Mediterranean woman figure, with charm, sufficient sophisticated who studies architecture and is a fanatic communist of a fanatic communist family which nevertheless is a high society family of the military class. Silda is virgin yet and she is in love with a young man called Peter, slightly younger than her, who studies mathematics , plays the guitar and who was more radical progressive than communists in the same direction as the left parties, but in longer time horizon and also with a non-theistic but metaphysical human existentialism, and cumming from low economic profile middle class family. It was Silda who chose Peter rather than Peter who chose Silda. This seemed convenient at that time to Peter, as Silda was expressing strong love to him, and he was not experienced enough to realize that such cases very easily evolve to situations against the male. Peter was also a beautiful , and very slim young man with strong speaking. Silda has a wicked married girl-friend that is usually the source of all bad influence on her. Silda had a very strong fear toward sex and Peter had hard time to convince her that sex was just, as innocent as the human body, and a blessed pleasure for good people. Silda had a long talk with Peter after 4 years of relations and somehow they agreed that their relationship has no meaning anymore and they would separate. Peter wanted to stop his relation with Silda because 1) Silda was a too much possessive girl and was giving too much significance of her control over Peter, in her relations with him. She was giving also too much importance in social power rather than existential integrity, truth and happiness. 2) Silda has a deep fear for sex. Gradually both Silda and Peter lost their desire to have sex often enough in their relationship. Silda told to Peter. "I agree Peter that we should separate, but I would like a child from you before we separate". Peter looked at her shocked and somehow terrified, as according to his sense of responsibility towards children, he did not find any good intentions in pre-determine the life of a child that his parents were already separated. Maybe he though Silda plans to exile him from the child's life plus replacing him with a DNA-fake father and the whole situation reminding him of the ancient Greek story of Medea who was killing her children, only here in a subtle way or the ancient Cretan story of Minotaur or Minosaur who fits perfectly to be Medea's new husband replacing the hero Jason . So he definitely disagreed that this is not a good idea at all!
2. THE SLIPPERY UNCERTAINTY. PETER IS DECEIVED BY SILDA, SO THAT SILDA GETS PREGNANT.
Both continued to see each other and they seemed to be somehow indecisive about the exact day of final separation. Peter should stop seeing Silda and definitely he should stop having sex with her since they discussed and agreed to separate, in spite the fact that Silda might have ask him to have sex. But they both felt still some affection for each other and it is a common mistake of couples to go one having sex sometimes after separating, especially when separation is not due to bold event of intervention of a third person but due to internal reasons of loss of the flame or other dysfunctions of the relation . During that time Silda is sleeping with an other man called Jack. She is afraid that she might get pregnant from that one-night sex. She rushes back to Peter to force Peter to have sex with her in fertile days that she really may get pregnant , by telling a lie to him about the fertile days. The way that Peter and Silda was preventing pregnancy during the 4 years of their relations was by counting the fertile days of Silda that had a very stable cycle, and they did not use any other method. This was another mistake that Peter was doing. Counting the fertile days depends on the awareness of the woman and not Perer's awareness, and Peter should use condoms all these 4 years, a way that is controlled completely by the awareness of Peter himself. Peter submits to the demand of Silda to have sex with her without knowing about Jack, and Silda indeed gets pregnant, and she does not know now whose the child is! No-one really knows! Silda is afraid to talk about it to anyone except her mother, and even to think that she might not got pregnant from Peter. Both Silda and Peter are University students at about the age of 22. Silda presses Peter to marry her. He refuses, reminding her that they decided to separate and at least suggests to postpone children and marriage until they have finished their studies, and get secure jobs and adequate finances and think more about it. It is an argument of mature responsibility for the child and themselves. In addition Peter feels that living with Silda and her family (parents) is quite close to emotional tyranny, and wants to avoid it. He suggest to Silda an abortion. The father and mother of Silda accuse Peter for being criminally irresponsible to suggests such a thing as abortion because abortions have dangers for he health of a woman. Peter remarks that this is hypocrisy as giving birth to a child generally involves much higher often unpredictable dangers for a woman. Silda declares determined to keep the child and she does so. The parents of Peter are in favor with any relation that Peter would chose , like that with Silda, but against an early marriage when neither Peter neither Silda had finished their studies and neither of them were yet able to support themselves financially.
3. THE FAKE MARRIAGE
Many friends of Peter advise him not to make any marriage at all , since their relation was over already when Silda got pregnant or about the time that Silda got pregnant. They told him that it will be a serious mistake of he would marry her under the circumstances. Of course this would be convenient to Peter since he new he had separated from Silda, but what would he tell to his child when she/he would grow up? The child would have serious reasons to be very angry and bitter with him for not recognizing it as his own child. The parents of Peter also suggest to postpone marriage till both Silda and Peter are able to support themselves financially. Peter is trying to be as much fair, responsible and correct under the current situations with all the subtle elements the interaction with Silda involves but also mistakes from both sides. He wants also to be fair with his emotions and the evolution of his relation with Silda so far that were in love for 4 years and that ended in the decision by both to separate. But this is really hard, and as he will not meet with a similar fair , decent and of good will attitude from the other side that of Silda, he will have as we shall see a really hellish and painful time. Peter wants to be responsible about a new born child as he believe it is his child, that in spite his disagreement to be born in such difficult situations it would be born. Peter submits to the demands of the parents of Silda and marries Silda, after her parents promising to him that they will separate just after 3 months, and that the marriage is only so that Silda is not considered as mother of a child of unknown father, which is not good for the child. Peter declares that his relation with Silda was already over before she got pregnant and that is how it will remain. The troubles that already they had, as a couple before, and the decision of Silda to stay with her fanatic communist family no matter what, the refusal of Silda to stay at the Peters parents house and the inability of both to support themselves financially , leads them in to direct separation, just after stepping out from the church in the ceremony of the marriage. After the church they both go at their parents houses separated. The ceremony of the marriage was in a small church with 5-6 of people only from the side of Silda and none from the side of Peter. Peter is naive to trust so much Silda and the parents of Silda, as he was believing in love and in the honesty and fairness of people. But he was wrong! From this point the troubles of Peter get even worse. After the ceremony of the marriage that was in the month of May, both Silda and Peter go one with their examinations in their Universities. These examinations are the last examinations for Peter, who this very summer gets also his bachelor degree in mathematics. But Silda has one more year of studies in her University. After the examinations they both go separated in different summer holidays. Peter goes alone in the forest of an island with his guitar , where he is meditating what to do with Silda, and it there where he decides that he will cancel going for postgraduate studies in USA, where he was accepted in the University of Pittsburgh , because he wants so see his child being born. The parents of Silda start doing their own mistakes now. The parents of Silda were not informed about the decision of Peter and Silda to separate before Silda got pregnant, they think that their current separation is due to the disagreements about pregnancy and keeping the child, or where to stay, and they estimate that Peter will return to the relations with Silda, and eventually he is going to stay at their house. This is what they say to everybody. So they assure Silda that this will happen giving a false prediction of future to her, but Silda knows better. When Peter comes back from the holidays, and visits the house of the parents of Silda, and the parents of Silda realize that Peter is interested only for the child and he would not restart his relation with Silda, and he will not stay in their house (something that Peter had already told them before the marriage but they were believing that Peter would change his mind although ), they started threaten Peter in any way the could asking him never enter their house again. And indeed this was so from then on. As we shall see later in the story, when Peter succeeded in the court of justice to have a decision to see his daughter , and was going to the Silda's parents house to take Lia, they did not let him in, he had to wait in the street, to bring to him Lia, from the 5th floor that was the apartment of the Silda's parents. A clear tactic showing the hostility and undesired of Peter contacting Lia.
4. THE BIRTH OF BEAUTIFUL LIA
The child is born after some month during December of the same year. It is a girl and is called Lia. Now the mistakes from the side of Silda strart in a chain reaction. Peter is not allowed to bring anyone from his relatives brother, mother etc to the hospital to see the new-born child, and even himself is allowed only in a restricted and limited way. Peter is humiliated and hurt my the exercise of power of the Silda's parents to the events relevant to the birth of Lia. He is treated as totally irresponsible and unworthy man. The dates of pregnancy and birth almost prove that it may not be the child of Peter , there is uncertainty but this is carefully hidden, by Silda and her mother to everybody, and from Peter that suspects nothing. There was not any DNA test at that time, neither anybody would suspect anything. Silda reacts to the denial of Peter to submit to her cunning plots with a cruel and maniac way probably trying to hide her guilt in the situation. The mistakes of Silda go on. She forbids Peter to see the baby. She presents an extravagant story to her family and social environment of her being such a victim of an irresponsible and stingy man like Peter. A close friend of Peter called Constantine becomes the Godfather of Lia, Now the mistakes of Silda are passed to Constantine. Peter is not even invited to the ceremony he is undesired, and Constantine believes everything that Silda tells him, betraying Peter, and essentially losing him as a friend. Peter sadly and with bitterness watches how the clever slanders of Silda are destroying his friendships and social environment. But Silda and her parents family who have a high social status and and were trying to get involved with masonry with no success have a secrete attraction and secrete promise for social power to all friends and people that they associate with them who easily betray and disassociate with any one that the family will accuse. On the other hand Peter's family was of the low economic status middle class, of state clerk coming from agriculture village family.
5. THE TORTURING OF PETER
Silda goes one with her mistakes. She is turning her 4 years love to hatred towards Peter. Silda openly declares to Peter that he is going to find the hell with her, now that she realizes that Peter is emotionally sensitive to the baby. Silda goes no with her mistakes and does not give divorce to Peter, neither is letting him to see Lia, until she shall find a new husband. Silda gets involved with various men, one after the other, until she is engaged with a new lover called Anyang. Silda does not give divorce to Peter during this time which of course gives and opportunity to Peter to get later a divorce which might be considered because of such unfaithful actions of Silda during marriage and even ask the court for monthly payments from Silda. But Peter is not that cunning and revenge oriented to do so. Silda with the help of her parents refuses to Peter to contact and see Lia. The logic they use is of the type "You never wanted that human being Lia to come to life, why now you want to see her?". This of course is nothing else but a cruelty to the emotions of Peter. Peter believes in the immortality of the human soul, and in reincarnation and even that souls most probably chose the parents that they incarnate as child of them. He also believes that the human existence starts when the immortal soul with her silver energy thread is connected to the heart center of the body. But for this to happen the nervous system of the human body must have been complete which is not certainly at the early stage of 1-2 months pregnancy. Later also the golden energy thread of the divine spirit is connected with the one of the main head nervous centers. And peter had advised Silda to make an abortion when she was 1-2 months pregnant so that any child that she would give birth would have both of her parents. When Silda refused to make an abortion, Peter decided and he expressed it so Silda that he would support any way he could the coming human existence. Peter of course explains and argues that he would never be against a human soul incarnating, on the contrary from responsibility to the coming experiences of this human soul he was against pre-deciding to be a child (Lia) of an already separated couple, and if the abortion would be done that soul would be incarnated probably to another child with normally married and not divorced parents. Therefore argues this argument is not valid and charges him with hostility against Lia that Peter never had or has.
Another argument they use against Peter contacting the child Lia, is that he is totally irresponsible and that he never gave not even a bottle of milk for the child. (The funny truth is of course that exactly two bottle of Milk Peter did give to Silda). In fact the main reason that they used to stop Peter from being in contact with Lia, was the financial. But the truth is that Silda new since her pregnancy that Peter had no money as a student. And it is nothing new now that after some months he cannot give money for Lia. Again this of course is nothing else than cruelty to the emotions of Peter. Peter had just finished his studies as mathematician, and he practically had no money to support the child, which was also one of the reason that he was against of keeping the pregnancy. Peters parents offered to Silda to stay in their house and support the child but Silda had refused. On the other hand Peter collected all his saving that he had from private lessons he was giving to pupils as a University student , he made some more such lessons and gave all his saving to buy a nice diamond jewel for Lia that gave to Silda, to have when she will be adult.
6. A FATHERHOOD BRUTALLY KILLED. WHEN THE PARENTS OF ONE OF THE COUPLE STRONGLY INTERVENE, AND WHEN ONE OF THE COUPLE REVERSES COUPLES LOVE TO HATRED.
When at a point of time Silda realized that Peter would never agree to go on with their fake marriage, she agreed for a friendly divorce. But one of the almost blackmailing conditions was that the baby Lia would not have the surname of Peter but only the surname of Silda. Peter did want the baby to have his surname, but he sadly had to submit to this demand of Silda in order to have the divorce going on. At this Peter is doing a mistake because he should insist in getting the divorce without Lia abandoning his surname. But he is doing this mistake because he does not know that later Silda would try to get married again immediately and unavoidably she would also want the divorce. Peter was afraid that Silda would not give him a divorce for many years if he would not submit in her demand that Lia loses his surname. The time goes on, and Peter is exiled from seeing and being with Lia. Silda multiplies her mistakes and arrogantly boasts to Peter that she conceived Lia not with Peter but with the "Lilly flower....." and as Peter did not give money he had no right to see Lia. Peter had not money at that time, and was bitter to realize how ugly, wicked , stupid and lair Silda had become that even fatherhood had to be bought with money, so that poor and forced to become father young men had no rights... Some days that Silda had clear mind to realize what she was saying and doing to herself , to Peter and Lia, with the money support of her parents, was collapsing psychologically and had the constant fear that Peter will gather some of his friend , and wait for a her one night that she is going back home to her parents and hit her wildly. But Peter was not a man of violence neither is doing such mistakes. Still Peter was getting very angry with what Silda was telling him, and he was certain that the bad karma that Silda was accumulating will hit her a future time that she was not expecting, from a direction she was not expecting and with a way she was not expecting. Silda boasts that she will arrange for father to be Anyang and the genetic father does not matter. Of course this is not really so, as such artificial or fake fathers are fathers only at the level of emotions of the child not at the level of the physical body. And common DNA means also common frequencies in the body. The DNA acts also transmitter and receiver of frequency that affect the consciousness. So its is a physical lock that affects more than we think the consciousness. Therefore a parent-child interaction which is from a DNA parent of the child also is a better parental function and integrates better the emotional and physical personality of he child. Meanwhile Peter is accepted for graduate studies in University in Pittsburgh USA, but as he feels that he wants to be in contact with his daughter Lia, he resign of going to USA. This decision will affect irreparable much in the negative his future carrier, but Peter is much emotional about the child to do otherwise. Finally after 3 years since the day of their fake marriage Silda gives a divorce to Peter, while during these 3 years got also engaged with Anyang (She would not give a divorce to Peter unless she was sure to find a new husband......still another egotistic and emotional brutal mistake.). Peter had already gone to the court of justice to ask for a communication with Lia as Silda and her parents did not let him too during the search for a new husband for Silda, and one year later to the divorce, finally while Silda is already divorced and married again with Anyang, the court of justice decides in favor of a communication of the Lia and the (thought as father so far by anybody, including the law) Peter. At that time Silda goes to the court of justice too and succeeds in having Peter giving monthly payment for the child, that was paid by the parents of Peter. In spite the decision ofthe court of justice Silda goes on with her mistakes and when Peter is trying to apply the courts decision and contact the baby, Silda shouts in maniac way that Peter will pay deadly for this. Silda's face had already become ugly by this time and her appearance with the choice of their cloths hardly reminded the charming Silda that Peter knew. As Peter hears Silda shouting in maniac way and threaten him, Peter feels the strong desire to take a stone from the ground as he is standing outside her house and throw it to her , but he is keeping his temper. Afterwards he remembered that, this was after all the tradition with such women, but Peter is not of the old predictable type of male. The stone also symbolizes the truth. Silda suddenly comes out of the house as if something scared her , with Lia crying in her hands ready to give Lia to Peter. Peter realizes that in spite the fact the he was won in the court of justice a decision for rightful communication with his child Lia, her monthe Silda and the parents of Silda have the power to make this communication to fail, by creating ugly angry shouting scenes in front of the child Lia, against Peter to communicate with Lia, which scenes and shouting scare Lia, and traumatize her feelings for any such communication and contact with Peter. Peter is very sad and is disgusted with the Medea-like attitude of Silda and her mother to make angry scenes and shouting in front of Lia, as he realizes that this is against the psychological balance of Lia but also against his attempt to play the role of the father and keep the parental equality. As we shall see later, although this tactic of ugly shouting scenes from Silda and her mother stopped somehow after sometime, it resulted later in to Lia getting fever when Peter was taking her for a walk, once Peter was absent for some months from communicating with Lia, because of his serving in the army. Now the mistakes of the parents of Silda are multiplying. Each time that Peter goes alone to take his child Lia, outside the house of Silda , the parents of Silda gather a dozen of people from their family friends to stop Peter or at least to make a show of power with ugly angry shouting scenes against Peter and in front of Lia, and against the one-man Peter and exercise psychological war to him which is observed by the child Lia who is present. The sister of Silda is like in a theatrical scenario is dressed in black like a black widow declaring that it is the funeral of Peter who is already dead , does not exist etc etc. One day, they even gave to Peter not Lia, but her cousin Marianne, the doughter of Sildas sister. Peter is starting thinking ("Are they insane? They think that I came in general for any child it does not matter who?" What Mariane has to do with it. If it is to come together with Lia ok, but why would Marianne come alone with me?"). At the same time after many visits to take Lia, Peter is observing that the energy substratum of the physical body of Lia (some people call it aether-body) is not of the frequencies and qualities of his own body. But after a couple of hours being together with Lia, it does become with the same energy-quality substratum as his own body, which is more transparent with more light and less viscosity than what Lia was when she took her. When for some reasons there is a longer time interval between two visits to see Lia, this difference is significantly observable, as it happened later as we shall see when Peter was absent in the army. Now Peter is completely awakened about that he should not trust the parents of Silda or Silda, and he is realizing the unequal battle that his is giving. Nevertheless he temporarily wins and goes one taking Lia in his car for a couple of hours every week as the court had decided. But this win will be temporary, as Lia is crying not believing him that he is her father , telling him that she is told that Anyanh is her father, and realizing what "army" of a dozen of people is gathered each time Peter is going to take her she does not want to go with Peter. And each time that Peter is going to take her is crying for at least 15-20 minutes before she accepts to go with Peter. This trouble Peter too much as definitely is not in his plan to make his visits an emotional drama for the child Lia. As we shall see later the final death bullet to his attempts to be fair with his role as a father will come from this attitude of Lia. Silda has succeeded with the financial and social help of her parents, the seemingly impossible: She has a child were at least three fathers are involved in realm of uncertainty. The possible genetic, Jack, that only Silda knows about it, Peter that is father at last according to the law, and is suffering from the whole story, and a new man , Anyang to grow up her child Lia and support her. Feminine egotism, and fear leads her to fail the honor of being a mother and a wife and became this that no-one wants. But this is not really noticed because of her lies. She is even afraid to think about what she has done. After all, she does not know herself who is the genetic father, and she prefers to think and make everybody think, that it is Peter. Nevertheless as she is afraid of the possibility that Peter may not really be the genetic father, she prefers, as a subconscious way out , to exile him with all her powers from her life. Silda wishes Peter to be dead.
Now the parents of Silda go one with their own mistakes. Although at the beginning were pressing to attract to the marriage Peter now they want to push Peter away from Lia, which was not forthe good interest to Lia, because that is their daughters Silda desire. They arrogantly think that they build any father they want for Lia....! The father of Silda talks to Peter and insists , that Peter should not be certain that he is the DNA father of Lia, that no-one really knows, there is nothing in the world that can prove it and that Peter should not insist to visit Lia as neither her mother neither Silda herself neither him is certain about it. The father of Silda is closing the one eye to Peter and tells him that he must not go on coming to see Lia, but he should go after other women to make his life! This shocks Peter! He is thinking : "This is either a new insanity that they try to apply to me while Lia is indeed my DNA-child or there is indeed a truth in it, and its is a favorable sincere warning". Peter decides to believe that it is not the truth, that he is the DNA-father of Lia and this is but just an insane psychological trick to push him away. It is important to notice that at that time the DNA-test had not been invented yet. This intervention and poisoning of Peter with doubts and talking of Silda father to Peter makes Peter feel that this is the last bullet of his "dying" fatherhood. But he goes one giving his battle.
From that point on her similarities with the ancient Medea increase. What would Silda ever be able to explain to her daughter Lia? That the genetic father is some one that she has never seen (Jack), that on the papers according to the law is someone else (Peter) and in every day life even another (Anyang), in case it was so? She makes her child Lia believe that her father is her new husband Anyang, while she succeeds in making the child almost ill, each time it was to see Peter, Peter is contacting the child every week according to his winning decision by the court. But the child Lia is crying a lot each time he is going to take her for a walk, as she is being told that Peter is not her father, but Anyang is. In addition they treat Peter with extreme hostility. Peter is trying to create a bond with his daughter and gradually to pass to her his principles and values as human being as normal father would do. He believes to the necessity of the parental equality in the growing up of a child. This is of course what all family psychologists believe too. But Silda wants strongly to break the parental equality, and keep only her and her new hatband Anyang as parents for Lia. All the efforts of Peter fail, as in his absence Silda and her parents still Lie to Lia about Peter. Lia nevertheless after some months acquires a good relation with Peter and she is not crying anymore so much. She starts believing Peter that he is her father. But she is very young yet only 3-4 years old. One day she says to Peter "If you love me please do not come to take me for walks anymore". Peter gets sad about it as he realizes that Lia is very young yet to understand that what she is asking him is not to her good interests as she is growing up. There is nothing essentially wrong in the way that Peter was communicating with Lia, neither anything essentially wrong with the personality of Peter. After all Peter was assessed by Silda in the past, as her good desired husband and desired father for her daughter. And Peter is the same man. But what was wrong was that now the attitude of Silda was not wanting to communicate with Peter, and the same she wanted, because of egotism and irresponsible motherhood for her daughter Lia. Silda is a person who cannot have even simple social friendship with her ex-boyfriends. It seems that she does not possess this emotional intelligence. Of course things get grave when there is a child too. Peter knows that when love is prevented from existing, and in that case of him as father and his daughter Lia then this is not good for both. In fact he is believing that this is bad for the world as a whole. For Peter the world has two separate islands that of the Platonic virtues of Beauty, Intelligence, Truth and Goodness and another island of the Ugliness, Stupidity, Lies and Wickedness. Now he is afraid that while Lia with him she would be on the side of Beauty, Intelligence, Truth and Goodness, now she is gradually absorbed by Silda her mother, to the side of Ugliness, Stupidity, Lies and Wickedness. Lia is growing up in a multi-family environment (that family of Silda and her parents too) who is much arrogant about their high social status, with affiliations with high ranks of the army and always trying to get involved with masonry with no success, while Peter is much more humble from a much poorer family with no high social status. Peter goes to the army now, and sees Lia less often.
When Peter comes back from the army, the mistakes of the parents of Silda and Silda are even more. The barrier of hostility against Peter is raised even higher and even the teachers to the nursery school of Lia are bend with brιbery or intimidation and talked not to allow Peter to contact Lia, in spite the fact the Peter has a decision by the court for this. Peter realizes that this hostility against him is too much for him to overcome, especially when Lia is also bend to it. Peter realizes that he has not sufficient social power and energy to overcome the hostility from the family of Silda against him, he is one person only after all, against a dozen of person each time he goes there, when he is trying to do his function as father to Lia while at the same time he must also try to make the rest of his life and his postgraduate studies. The claims of Sildas father that it is very probable that his is not the DNA father of Lia, has taken the certainty from him for the correctness of his efforts. He had chosen to insist though, because he is thinking that when Lia will be an adult woman he wants to be able to stand for the role that at least the legal papers have for him as her father. After a couple of years contacting Lia, after all these obstructions put by Silda and her parents , plus the demand of Lia to stop seeing her, and after he comes back from the army, he stops seeing Lia who at that time is not more than 5 years old. In his one before last visit of Peter to Lia, Lia gets fever as Peter is told next time he comes, in spite the fact that it is summer! Peter realizes that all this on purpose drama of ugly angry shouting scenes in fron of Lia, by Silda and her mother against Peter, had done the work of traumatizing the subconscious of Lia, who now suffers secretly when Peter is taking her for walks, because Lia knows down to her subconscious that her mother and grandmother and the other people in her house from which she depends, did not want and probably still do not want Peter to come and visit her. A last attempt by peter after ending his serving in the army, is to go to the nursery school where Lia is going daily to see her, so as to avoid going at her mothers house. But even there the teachers are told not to let Peter see Lia. The teacher claims that they are told to allow only the people that bring Lia at school to see her, during intermissions.
Now Lia is already at least 6-7 years old and Peter adds up all the events and the happenings since pregnancy till now to see what she is going to do. If he shall go on trying or stop at least temporarily. We must mention here that many friends and other relatives that watched the events and battle of Peter to communicate with his daughter , tell him and direct language "thsi is a crime what they are doing with your daughter"Or "Stop Peter trying to communicate with your daughter! Don't you see that they are trying to revenge you for not continuing your relation with Silda?" or "Dont you see that they are afraid that they are going to lose the second husband of Silda as well, so they are trying to push you away?" "Stop going there, and let them ask you later, to see Lia. Or let Lia come to you as she is getting older".
Peter to have clear image of what he decides , writes down a list of 11 factors that makes him stop at least for the moment to communicate with Lia, and 5 factors that would allow him to go on and keep the parental equality, The next are the 11 and 5 factors respectively.
Peter stops communicating with Lia because
1. The parents of Silda had for-bitten Peters parents and any other relative of Peter to vist and see the baby, when it was born in the hospital, with the exception of Peter only.
2. They had put the dilemma to Peter a) Either you shall keep on having a relation with Silda, or yoy cannot communicate and have contact with the child (no parental equality). Which of course by all standards of the society is a wrong attitude against the right growing up of any child.
3. In spite the fact that the marriage was fake, and both Silda and her mother new it, Sildas father was expecting that Peter would change his mind , and just before the child was born, and Peter assured him that he shall not continue any relation with Silda, he got very ungry, starting shouting and through Peter, outside his house, where nevertheless, the child would grow up the first 5-6 years. And indeed Peter never entered again thiw house, and when he had to visit and take Lia for a walk, he had to wait in the street to bring her to him.
4. Instead of the promise to take a divorce within 3 months after the fake marriage which was only so as to recognize Lia as his child, they gave him divorce after 3 years. In between thsi time of course Peter and Silda were not in any relation, but Silda tried several lovers till he found his new husband Anyang to marry.
5. In order to give him divorce, they asked him , that Lia will have not his surname but only Silda's surname.
6. During this marriage and while Silda was trying her lovers, they forbid Peter to communicate with Lia. The excuse was that Peter was not giving money to support, but Silda already new since her pregnancy that Peter as a student was not working and had no money to give.
7. Silda had told him angrily in front of his face, that now that Peter would want yo see Lia, she would make him suffer. And indeed this is what happened, but unfortunately Lia also was suffering too with this Silda tactic.
8. In spite the fact the Peter won the case in the court of justice to communicate with Lia, Silda and her mother created ugly angry shouting scenes in front of Lia, which made lia not wanting Peter to communicate with her.
9. The father of Silda challenged and doubted to Peter, that Lia is also his DNA child, and pushed him to find other women and have children. At that time the DNA test was not known yet.
10. The were humiliating and making Peter feel guilty for coming and communicating with his child, and was leting him wait in the street to give Lia to him, instead of telling him, "Come up and sit to drink a glass of water , till we dress Lia to go outside"
11. The whole attitude, especially from the side of the father of Silda, was the next , altough they never told him exactly these words to him "Please Peter, do not come anymore. Silda cannot handle emotionally the situation that she has created with Lia, and you and her new husband. If you keep coming, we will lose also this next husband. Please Peter stop coming". In addition the deep emotional-belief-characterological based structure of the attitude of Silda, (also supported by her mother) wants to break the parental equality (and temporarily it did in the past, which led Peter to go to the court of justice to try to restore it) , was the next wrong hidden sequence of arguments and strong emotional identifications "Peter does not want me, the Silda anymore, therefore I do not want him anymore, and I did my best to hurt him in trying to communicate with our child Lia and by not giving him divorce while I was finding a next husband that will support me. Therefore my child must not want him also, because I identify myself with my child. I do not care if I traumatized my child Lia also as I was yelling against Peter and kept by hostility and accusations. It suits me, as this will be the base that Lia will not want Peter also, and as Lia will be growing up this will make her be like me and not like her father"
12) Peter feels that what Silda with the support of their parents was doing around Lia and against Lia, was not less than a crime, a subtle Medea's crime, that he could not stop it, but he did not want also to be part of it, he did not what to be an accomplice to such a subtle crime. Peter went to a child-psychologist and told them the situation. Lia was playing happily with him, but when she had to go back to her mother , she was confessing to Peter that "Now I must show an unhappy face to my mother" The Child-psychologist said that the problem is not created by Peter but by Silda, and that Peter can do nothing neither now neither in the future as long as Silda, was keeping this hostile and wrong attitude against Peter, and against Peter's contact with Lia. The child-psychologist recommended that Peter should stop contacting Lia. And that in the future , Peter might have a chance of success only if Silda herself wanted that Lia is contacting Peter, and was asking Peter to contact Lia. If this does not happen, then only after many decades when Lia would be fully grown up and an independent personality and lady, then only, there might exist a chance of Lia resolving all this false moral-emotional reality in which she was growing up, and might have good relations with Peter again. Lia is now 7 years old. If we assume that the duration till her becoming adult is till 17 years old, then Peter has tried for 7/17=41% of the available time to play his role of father well, but the hostile attitude of Silda has made it fail, at the psychological cost, mainly of her daughter Lia. Peter according to the decision of the court of justice had 3-4 hours per week time to contact Lia, but her mother Silda, had all the week, that is 164 hours, and unfortunately she was undoing and fighting any positive attitude that Peter was trying install to Lia for their interaction. All friends , Peters parents and the child psychologist have recommended to Peter to stop contacting Lia, as this is not only harmful for her, not because of him but because of the attitude of her mother, but also very harmful for any reasonable role of father. So Peter has one more reason to stop: To safeguard the correct role of a father to the daughter, that unfortunately at the young age till her becoming adult cannot be conducted without a mutual consent of both parents a mutual basic friendly and mutual respectful relation of both the parents between them.
Besides Lia, Peter must consider also himself as he could never play a respectful role as father , and respectful role socially for himself ad his goals in his life, if he would accept to exhaust all of his energy and efforts for the sake of Silda taking revenge of him because he decided to separate from her. Especially if this accepting of Silda going on revenging him was also hurting Lia.
13) If in the future, from the 41% till 100% (17 years old of Lia), Silda and her parents would understand their mistake and change attitude thus becoming favorable to Peter contacting Lia and playing, with respect by them, his role as a father, Peter was with an open door, ready to accept to play his role , what ever was left of it anyway. Peter was not a man of revenge, but a man who tries to by fair. And given the so hostile attitude by Lia mother which forced him to stop, fairness in interactions between people requires that Lia's mother must make now the first step to restore any contact in the future. Unfortunately , this never happened as we shall see, which also proves that Silda never really changed her attitude till Lia becoming 17 years old. Peter was afraid of that, but still he was considering that not everything would be lost, because as Lia would become adult and even better financially independent in the future, she could contact Peter with her own free will, restoring good relations of her and Peter, and going on with a love even only as adults social friends due to her adult age.
Someone may notice that for Peter stopping contacting Lia, is exactly what Silda was wanting due to her arrogant egotism and inability to handle her oun doings with getting pregnant but failing not to separate with Peter. Also Silda at a best version of her attitude, that might not be assessed as revenge to Peter for separating her, wanted to charge and accuse also Peter as irresponsible for not contacting anymore Lia. So Peter was feeling that he was "called"by Silda to an attitude , which again was not his true attitude. That attitude forced by Silda could be described with the next words. "Go to hell Peter! Why you do not want to understand? Go away! Forget the child! Leave it as a present from you to me. Do not become a foolish sentimental father. Do not give money! My own father as a University professor has sufficient money to support me growing it up. Are you so foolish to be around my life now that I have a new husband? I do not even know myself if the child Lia is yours. Go away! Make your own children with other women and make your own life! This is my love to you."
Now Peter would not agree to that too! He din not want to be part or an accomplish of such an attitude too! Indeed it would be convenient to him to go away, and abandon Lia, if he was an inconsiderate and irresponsible man. But he was not! Silda could not predict that Peter was so much considering Lia and his role to Lia. Of course as we said Peter for other reasons had to stop contacting Lia, mainly due to the war to him by Silda, a war that Lia was paying the negative effects. One may ask And what is the difference in these two attitudes as the result is the same? Well the result and actions are not the same. If what Silda was claiming was true, then if in the future Silda changed her mind and asked Peter to start contacting Lia again, then Peter would answer "Go away! It is too late! I am not interested!" But if the reasons and attitude of Peter as he was feeling them were true then in such an occasion, Peter would reply "Thanks God! You change your mind! Of course I will be coming to see Lia". And as we shall see in the next after many years when Lia was adult and financially independent it was again Peter, who tried to contact Lia, proving the truth of his attitude and causes.
And as contrary Peter wrote down 5 factors that would make him continue communicating with Lia.
Peter would go communicating with Lia, as all other normal such divorced parents if
1. The parents of Lia had not forbid his parents and all his relatives to visit and see the baby Lia when she was born in the hospital, with the exception of Peter himself.
2. They would give him divorce in 3 months after the marriage as they ha promised since they new and had agreed that it was a fake marriage so as only to recognize Lia as his child.
3. Not to ask him , that Lia would have not his surname.
4. To appreciate that Peter did the fake marriage although he had stopped his relation with Silda since the 1st month of pregnancy, so as to recognize Lia as his child, and that he was determined to keep the parental equality, so that Lia would grow up in balanced and true way, as all other children of divorced but responsible parents.
5. Finally to accept him to communicate with Lia, without creating on purpose ugly angry shouting scenes from the side of Silda and her mother against him, and in front of Lia, that made Lia not wanting to communicate with Peter. Instead to encourage him to communicate with her and assist him on that.
6. In addition that the deep emotional-belief-characterological based structure of the attitude of Silda, (that should also supported by her mother) should be the right one.In other words the next "Peter does not want me, the Silda anymore, therefore I do not want him anymore, but our child is a different existence. I ,as a mother of this child I have the responsibility to keep the parental equality for the sake of the good emotional background of Lia. My new husband can play a helpful role for me and Lia, but as a responsible and fair human being and mother I should not try to impose to Lia, that this is to substitute the communication with her true father Peter. I must not hurt Peter, or try to be hostile or insulting and humiliating. Beside me Silda I have made my own mistakes. Peter, as well as me too, have the respected right to decide not to be both of us a couple anymore. But instead I must encourage Peter, that, in spite his initial unwillingness to start a marriage and a child growing, he is trying, in the measure of his conditions of time and money, to be fair and responsible to his role as father. Even if Peter will stop seeing Lia because of my past temporal mistakes an attitudes, I must call him and ask him for forgiveness and ask him to communicate with Lia, or send Lia to him, now and later. If Peter does not have sufficient time or money for this role, I must be reasonable and not accuse him or make it a reason to break the parental equality. I must not try to have full one-sided control over Lia, as this will not be good for her mental and emotional balance and fate, I must encourage her to communicate with her father. "
In over all Peter finds unfair and useting the attitude and strategy of Silda, who unfortunately passed her lie-dogmas to her daughter Lia. The main reasons he finds it unfair and of evil spirit and will are the next
1) It is true that Peter considered keeping the child by the pregnant Silda inappropriate given that their love relations had somehow already failed already before he was pregnant with Lia and given they both were University students yets without income and without established work. In addition to that Peter was strongly suspecting (and partially only proved that Silda hasa lso another parallel love affair leading him not to know who's child really was Lia. No DNA test at that time yet)
2) Nevertheless since Silda decided to keep the child , he accepted to recognize it by marring her with a pre-agreed to divorce fake marriage and keep the parental equality by giving the time , energy and money that he could afford in his age which was only 22 years old. Of course no true relations with Silda could occur and after the divorce of the fake marriage only parental equality and contact should be sustained.
3) In spite his generous offer with his attitude to the immature and irresponsible tactics of Silda, Silda together with her parents and sister tries to do everything to put obstructions to the communication and contact of Peter with Lia. When the court of justice decided a contract and communication of Peter with Lia and this was tried , they did everything to hurt Peter , by hurting Lia too (yelling against Peter in front of the 4-years old child, telling lies that Peter was not the father of Lia etc). They should appreciate the generous offer of Peter and should welcome and facilitate and support his decision to keep the parental equality and communication with Lia.
4) Given this unfair , extreme and dangerous attitude of Silda and her family , Peter decided to stop communicating with Lia, as Lia was showing clearly that she was suffering and traumatised with communicating with Peter , after a decision by a court of justice , given that her family did not want it and sabotaged it. But his door was open. He would accept to communicate any time Silda would changed her attitude or Lia, was curious and willing to contact Peter as she was growing.
5) Peter discovered after 30 years that not only they did not changed attitude on this but they had raised Lia with dogmatic lies of the type that responsible for Peter not communicating with Lia was Peter and Peter was a bad person because he left pregnant Silda and abandoned her in early months of pregnancy.
Also these developments and the way the Silda and her family broke the parental equality , was a beyond doubt confirmation to Peter, that his decision not to have his life as a couple with Silda, were correct and wise. Peter would never spend his life , and could not love a woman that would broke the parental equality , especially in the way that Silda did. Even if this was to Silda's ex-love or husband over a child not by Peter. Peter can forgive Silda, but he could never love so as to spend his life with Silda , especially in view of how she broke the parental equality and that she wanted to break it. Peter wanted to spent his life with a much more fair person with deeper goodness in the heart and not superficial goodness on the surface only, He would want a person that in such situations of divorce and involved children is not so easily and willingly drifted to hatred , negative empathy and unfair attitudes based on lies.
And Peter, he would not even want to have a devoted friend (superficial friend only maybe) who would be a woman and who would have done so to one of his friends! Peter would prompt in such a case and say to such a friend "What you have done, to break the parental equality and the way you did it is not right. Why you do not correct it ?"
Peter also realized that he could not trust Silda and her parents in the future, as essentially good and fair people at least as far as this situation is concerned, so that he could deal with them in the future to contribute in his role to raise Lia.
So Silda wins in her game to break the parental equality and Peter lost the war, in spite of his battles and the temporary success of the court of decision to communicate with his child!
But as we shall see Peter wins the war on a higher level. At the level of wise and fair attitude and behavior, at the level of truth, goodness better emotional intelligence and better ideals for the fate of a growing child. And finally at the level of health and freedom as having lost now the war of succeeding in communicating with his child, at least he is free to go on with other deeper plans in his soul consciousness.
Peter feels that his main goal of this incarnation and life is to develop a soul perception of the happening and state of the earthly civilization. A liberating soul perception, in sociology, physical sciences, economy , etc that will help many other people to vision and pursuit activities and changes of institutions, for a better civilization that will evolve faster.
Peter realizes that inspite the fact that he wishes to see Lia and help her grow up, if the side of her mother does not want , and they express it in many ways, it is futile to keep trying, as this situation hurts everyone involved. He realizes that he does not have time to hate people that hate him, as he spends his time loving those that love him. He does not have time to be hostile to people that are hostile to him, he spends his time being friendly to people that are friendly to him. He does not have time to dishonor people that dishonor him, because he is spending his time to honor those that honor him. He hopes that as Lia will grow up and become 10, 15, or 17, or 18 years old and as the children usually make their revolution against their mother and father that she will come to discover who is really her father (at least according to the legal papers) . He wonders where is the limit of the slander towards him from the family of Silda. Will they reach the point of saying to Lia in the coming years that Peter her father is an alcoholic , or drag addict or homosexual , or insane, or idiot-jerk, or mad etc to persuade her not to find him? Peter does not trust them anymore. After some months Peter stops paying money too Silva because he also stopped from seeing her after so much hostility that was shocking the child too. Peter was hoping that if Silda would react to this he would press for less hostility when taking Lia for walks. But Silda has sufficient much money from her parents and she wanted Peter away from her, being afraid that maybe Anyang seeing Peter around might leave her too, as not liking it. Silda in her hypocrisy says to everybody around her that not paying money anymore to her, Peter proves how irresponsible he is, and that is so convenient to him to run away from his responsibilities.
After the application of the decision of the court of justice by Peter,to communicate with Lia, Silda went also to the court of justice and asked for support money. Of course the court of justice decided that Peter should give money for Lia. As Peter was now a post-graduate student he still did not have money, and the money were given for Lia by his father. But when Peter decided that he cannot go on with the communication because of the way that Silda traumatized Lia, and because Lia was getting sick when Peter was taking her , and stopped seeing her, after his time in the Army, he went on giving money to Silda without communicating with Silda. Nevertheless after some time he asked his father to stopped giving her the money. His strategy was to force Silda to ask again for money , because of the decision of the court of justice, in which case he would also press for a different attitude from Silda. But Silda never asked for money anymore! Which was also a clear indication that Silda did not want Peter to communicate with Lia, as she did not want so in the past when Peter went to the court of justice to ask for communication with Lia. If Silda wanted the parental equality, she would insist that Peter gives money for Lia. From the side of Peter, if Peter had an abundance of money he would not mind to pay for Lia, even if he would not communicate with Lia. But he still had no sufficient money of his own, as he was a post-graduate student. Peter was thinking that even if in the future he would have money to pay, this, as it was proved so far, would not be a guarantee, that the attitude and desire by Silda to break the parental equality would have been eliminated. At least, Peters consciousnesses was in comfort that Lia would not lack of money and support for her growing up, because this growing up was sufficiently supported by the parents of Silda, that due to their high social status had also high income. The parents of Silda now were paying for the irresponsible desires and doing of their daughter. Peter was not considering it unfair, due to the way that things had developed, and due to his essentially forced broke of the parental equality and his communication with Lia.
Peter understands in some part of the mind of Silda, Silda is trying also to think in a "positive" for her and Peter way, when breaking the parental equality. Thinking like this "Well Peter since you did not want from the beginning a marriage and growing a child , and I forced you in this situation, I am doing a favor to you, in trying to make you not wanting to communicate with the child, and that I am trying to persuade you with all kinds of awful and hurting behaviors not to be involved in the growing of the child. Consider it as a kind of secrete remaining love for you. Give me also this love to me to raise this child by my own only breaking the parental equality"
But Peter does not agree with it. He does not want to agree. As a proverb by a poet says "When a calamity seems to pay a benefit, consider it a horn" He cannot accept for himself as desirable and at the first place decided by him, to act against the interest of a growing child , his child. At this point is that Peter is differentiated to Silda. Silda is willing or not, initiating a situation that like a subtle Medea , looks at first her egotism and emotional interests with the financial expenses of her parents, and does not hesitate hurting her child with yelling in front of her, against Peter, and furthermore that she is trying to make Peter and Lia not to want to communicate each other. While Peter is much more fair. Although it would be convenient not to recognize the child and not make the fake marriage he did both, and furthermore he went to the court of justice to be able to communicate with Lia. Peter prefers that since the child will be born and is born, that it is better to have parental equality, and from his side as much as it is feasible from the point of view of time and money.
Peter also remembers the mother of Silda many years ago, when of all these had not happened yet, to talk in an authoritative way that, growing a child means needing mother only and not a father too. She was giving as an example the nature and the wild animals like Lionesses that raise their cabs, while the lion is seldom seen again. But Peter does not agree! This is for the wild beast of a special kind he thinks is not for people, it is not even like these for all animals.
7. THE 7 YEARS OF DEPRESSION OF PETER. A LOST PARENTAL LOVE. THE TRAPPING OF PETER IN HIS COUNTRY AND HIS LATER EVOLUTION.
Peter is finishing a PhD in mathematics in his country with much difficulty, as for 7 years after he stopped seeing Lia she falls in depression. The whole story evolves more than 80% as Silda was wanting in a hidden way and as Peter deeply did not want. This is also a simple proof that Silda was more than 80% responsible for the created situation or the mistakes against Lia, and Peter less than 20%. responsible for this. That he falls in depression is apparent from the fact that he stops playing the guitar. The guitar was a very important positive and social emotional factor for Peter, since the time he was a pupil. Now he is quite sad to want to play the guitar. Peter returns to the guitar only after 35 years when he is old and on the occasion of camping reunion with other friends of him that they played altogether musical instruments. Peter feels that his "world" is broken because of this story. many friends of him, believed Silda rather than him, and turned against him. Peter now realized who was really his friend who was not. As a student Peter had the ambition to "climb" to the social status of the civilization. Now he realizes that this is not what he really wanted but rather to transcend the social status with better human principles and values that those that the social status is realizing. Peter soon becomes a radical futurist in the sciences , economy and sociology, and soon he is awakened about the presence of the aliens on earth. He writes music poems and science fiction books. Peter finds soon his real meaning of life and a reason that he was born in this planet. He writes books give lectures and becomes a University professor in his late forties .
8. THE BROKEN PARENTAL EQUALITY AND ITS SUSPECTED MEANING.
Peter feels that he had done his part, initially by going to the court of justice to win a case of communication with Lia, but had stopped him, with many ways. He has no indication that Silda and her parents have now a different attitude, where they do want him to communicate with Lia, without creating new impossible to overcome obstructions. He was thinking that when Lia would be 10-11 years old they could simle give him a phone call telling something like. Come Peter to see Lia, it is good that Lia sees her father" He would accept of course. But also when Lia was 17,18,20 years old he was expecting a phone call by Lia, that she was asking to get to know him. But none of these happened!
Silda plans to explain to her daughter, when she shall be a grown up girl, that her real father is that one in the legal papers, but that he was a very bad and irresponsible man, from whom she saved her. Of course this is all lies. Peter was considered and desired by Silda her good and perfect husband and father to her child. But as soon as she realized that Peter will not submit to her desires and will not be a couple with her, she automatically started considering him bad and irresponsible and thsi was trying to pass to her child too, identifying her with her child. She understands that when Lia shall grow up she might want to meet Peter, but she already knows, that it shall be too late for Peter or Jack to really be a father at all for her daughter Lia . So her plans shall be successful after all, no matter what. Silda would have succeed nothing by her own , if she was to be alone. All that she succeeded, was with the blind or even encouraging help of their parents, that were ready to pay for everything, and which made them even more irresponsible than Silda. Silda also tries to get involved with masonry with no success to take power on what she desires, and yet some how seems not unsuccessful. What is she hoping? To coin her precious mystery in masonry, that fatherhood and motherhood are not equal in honor and that they can be bought and sold with money? As far as the possibility of a true genetic father being Jack is concerned, he is never to know about it! Neither her daughter of course. She cannot imagine that science one day will discover a DNA test for it. And also she does not want to feel guilty, as she does not really know who the genetic father is. She does not realize how she slips in subtle crimes like a subtle Medea attitude. She has so much accused Peter of being so irresponsible and she fails to realize how much irresponsible, she is herself, like this as a mother. She thinks that time, money, cloths and food is all she needs to prove herself a good mother. She hates Peter that she abandoned her, she hates also subconsciously her daughter Lia as Medea did with Jason's children. There are women that have the ability to love a man with too much power , but when the relations ends they keep this love and do not make it hatred. But there are woman that inverse such a strong love to hatred. Silda is one the latter types of persons with much hypocrisy . As a proverb says she is in secretly bad in the volume of Pounds and openly good at the size of cents. But she does not really understands it. As we said Peter understanding that the child gets an almost nervous shock each time, he is to go and take it with him, she abandons finally his attempts to play the role of father to Lia. It is already almost 7 years that he has been trying. He thinks that after some time Silda shall bring her daughter Lia to him by her own will. He was wrong! 20 years passed and this never happened! Peter thinks that what worked was a wrong emotional and belief "equations" that Silda created in her subconscious and created in the subconscious of Lia too with the help of her father and mother. And these subconscious "equations" are "Peter does not want me, the Silda anymore, therefore I do not want him anymore, and I did my best to hurt him in trying to communicate with our child Lia and by not giving him divorce while I was finding a next husband that will support me. Therefore my child must not want him also, because I identify myself with my child. I do not care if I traumatized my child Lia also as I was yelling against Peter. It suits me, as this will be the base that Lia will not want Peter also, and as Lia will be growing up this will make her be like me Silda and not like him. So the communication has stopped the for the sake of her emotional welfare ( a danger not really created by Peter to Lia, but by Silda to Lia if Peter was to communicate with Lia). I do not care I broke the parental equality. Emotionally this suits me, as I have full unobstructed control over Lia and I made also my daughter like me , in other words not wanting to communicate with her father too. As years passed , it was easy to persuade Lia, that it was her father Peter who did not want to communicate with her , and not me Silda , as it was really so. The persuasive argument to Lia is . "Look your father did not want you, if he did, he would be coming and see you and pay money! Me, on the other hand, I would want that you communicate with your father for your own good" (Here of course is silenced the next obvious question: "If it was so, and since Silda pushed Peter away and broke the parental equality , it is Silda's responsibility to restore the parental equality and why not ask him to come and see Lia, or send Lia to see him?" ) . And Lia not being aware of the details of the way that parental equality broke, will believe the false attitude and explicit or implicit such lies. "
Lia's subconscious was shaped indeed in this way and now Lia, feels sad and disappointed as she believes that it is mainly Peter's decision to abandon her, not come to see her again, while she is absorbed more and more by the influence of her mother. Lia makes Univesity studies identical with that of her mothers and she works at the professional office of her mother and step-father. She depends financial on them, so the fears of Peter do come true: Lia is one-sided absorbed my the control of her mother so she has the subconscious denial to see her father Peter, which she rationalizes with various excuses, is dominating her.
In over all Peter finds unfair and useting the attitude and strategy of Silda, who unfortunately passed her lie-dogmas to her daughter Lia. The main reasons he finds it unfair and of evil spirit and will are the next
1) It is true that Peter considered keeping the child by the pregnant Silda inappropriate given that their love relations had somehow already failed already before he was pregnant with Lia and given they both were University students yets without income and without established work. In addition to that Peter was strongly suspecting (and partially only proved that Silda hasa lso another parallel love affair leading him not to know who's child really was Lia. No DNA test at that time yet)
2) Nevertheless since Silda decided to keep the child , he accepted to recognize it by marring her with a pre-agreed to divorce fake marriage and keep the parental equality by giving the time , energy and money that he could afford in his age which was only 22 years old. Of course no true relations with Silda could occur and after the divorce of the fake marriage only parental equality and contact should be sustained.
3) In spite his generous offer with his attitude to the immature and irresponsible tactics of Silda, Silda together with her parents and sister tries to do everything to put obstructions to the communication and contact of Peter with Lia. When the court of justice decided a contract and communication of Peter with Lia and this was tried , they did everything to hurt Peter , by hurting Lia too (yelling against Peter in front of the 4-years old child, telling lies that Peter was not the father of Lia etc). They should appreciate the generous offer of Peter and should welcome and facilitate and support his decision to keep the parental equality and communication with Lia.
4) Given this unfair , extreme and dangerous attitude of Silda and her family , Peter decided to stop communicating with Lia, as Lia was showing clearly that she was suffering and traumatised with communicating with Peter , after a decision by a court of justice , given that her family did not want it and sabotaged it. But his door was open. He would accept to communicate any time Silda would changed her attitude or Lia, was curious and willing to contact Peter as she was growing.
5) Peter discovered after 30 years that not only they did not changed attitude on this but they had raised Lia with dogmatic lies of the type that responsible for Peter not communicating with Lia was Peter and Peter was a bad person because he left pregnant Silda and abandoned her in early months of pregnancy.
9. THE 2ND DIVORCE OF SILDA.
In the second part the story goes like this The second marriage of Silda was not successful. It was after all a fast solution to save her at difficult times. Her second husband Anyang sooner or later discovered that although he was much favored by her, in all matters, what she did to Peter, was not really in favor for any man, or any father. He never really dared to make a child with Silda, and after some years he divorced her and married another woman called Reptuna.
10. MONEY BUYS FATHERHOOD, SOCIAL FAMILY MORALITY AND CHILD'S MORAL LIBERTY.
Silda left alone, with her daughter Lia , was suddenly found in a difficult position, especially as she felt the demand of Lia to meet and get to know, the man that on the papers was mentioned as her father, namely Peter. Lia studies architecture as her mother and Silda succeeds in controlling Lia and making Lia depend on her also in her job, by joining her in the profession as architects. Silda although cannot acquire a secrete position in masonry hierarchy, which would gives her social power and abundance of money, seemingly from her profession as architect has a friend who does which gives her social powerful network customers . This is also a very powerful weapon to control Lia, who is forced due to the financial crisis to work also in her mothers office with all the big customers that the friend in masonry provides and the big money they bring. Money seems to be able to buy everything even family morality, fatherhood, and child's moral liberty.
Meanwhile Peter, who is not young anymore, having realized the fake of the situation, is not anymore in an endless adventure with women. Finally Peter meets a nice woman called Marilee in a foreign country, that he marries and has children with her. With this ends the second part of the novel.
11. THE YEARS OF TRUTH? THE DNA TEST AND THE MANY VERSIONS OF THE STORY. THE SERENITY TO ELIMINATE OLDER SLANDERS AND MISTAKEN ATTITUDES. THE LATER PERSONALITY OF LIA.
This closing of the story, is not good, Lia after about 1-2 years since the first contact as adult with Peter and her being at th age of 35 , he does not manages to develop his relation with Peter and falls back in he decades long denial and hostility n which he was taught by her mother and grand father. Actually the only reason he accepted to contact Peter at first through the Facebook, was her Italian boy friend Mario, who was insisting that she should have contact with her real father. And in falling back in the denial she also divorces Mario as she was feeling that Mario was agreeing with Peter to have a happy lovely and on going relation as father daughter. She cuts-off and blocks Peter from the facebook. Peter had hardly the opportunity to learn about her as they only mete about 3-4 times in all these 2 years, and spite Peter insisting meeting her more times. When Peter asked her to have DNA test to know for sure that she was his daughter, she accepted, but Peter could not find the opportunity to proceed with it as she met Peter only 3-4 times. Eventually Peter stopped trying to keep up a contact with Lia, because of her immature denial. As a final attempt some years later Peter calls her in the telephone to invite her to a walking on a local mountain with 10-20 friends, where they had picnic and guitars to sing, and also to find it as an opportunity to have the DNA test. But Lia, refuses not even to pick up the phone. Peter has to explain what he was planning through sms messages. Finally Lia is not and never became mature and responsible enough to agree to make a DNA test and clear out the situation. Peter explained to her that it was her mother and grandfather who had doubted him being a father, and her mother in particular repeating to him that the child was conceived by her not by Peter but by .....the lily flower. Peter explained to Lia, that he wants to have his consciousness in peace that when he signed the papers that she was his daughter, was not doing a tragic mistake depriving the truth by another man being her father and the truth from her. Also that a DNA test would help her to know with certainty on what ground they are standing. Peter explained to Lia that he expects that the DNA test will prove Lia to be Peters daughter. But even in case she was not, he would try to help her find who is. By now Peter has realized that Silda has created a personality to Lia, which may be considered an incompatible personality to his personality. But even in such cases there are civilized and kind and honorable ways that such personalities can keep a friendly and mutual benevolent relation. Still Lia seems that does not what even this. Peter explained that he expects from Lia that she will accept a DNA test because she considers her honest and trying to hide a possible mistake by her mother would be sick and illness. But Lia's denial is irrational or.....she simply hates Peter as she was subconsciously taught so by her mother, and prefers to a) Refuse anything that Peter might want to do with her and just want the opposite b) try to hurt him as possible in any way, (herself of course too eventually) even if this is by a simple denial to know the truth with a DNA test, and keep a sick possibility of all the situation being tragically wrong. Peter started thinking why there was such a stubborn and persistent denial by Lia to contact her for so long. Then he realized that there might be traumatic experiences at her childhood . H could remember especially two. 1) The first were the screaming’s of her mother when for the first time he tried to exercise the decision of the court to have communication with her which mad her cry non-stop. 2) That when the commination was carried out for almost 2 years, in some cases happily not too many, her grandmother than was bringing her (then 4-5 years old) in front of the door for Peter to take her, as she had Lia in her chest she was grabbing her wildly and hit her on the chest of Peter saying “here take her”, which made Lia star crying again non-stop. It was obviously a tactic to make her not wanting to communicate with Peter.
Unhappily this attitude of Lia, was kept like this till the end of her life.
As the years passed Peter realized with a shock that Lia had become a
paranoiac neurotic, personality full of unfair hatred and hostility not only to
him but to the majority of people.
The DNA test was never conducted with mutual consent at a friendly level.
Lia followed that secret desire of her mother Silda who did not know herself
the truth about such a possible DNA test but had decided in an ad hoc way to
created it so that Peter was supposed to be the father of Lia, as this was more
convenient socially for her. Of course any one that came to know this
story started believing now that Lia's mother was guilty of not really knowing
herself whose child is Lia, and being afraid she influenced Lia not to accept a
DNA test.
Lia with such a rather neurotic and underground full of hatred personality never managed to make a family and have children, Peter was initially unhappy for this end of the story, but he was a person with may creative activities and soon was happier with other parts of his life. When Peter he was deciding about his fortune, he was much more careless to keep it significant so that Lia would inherit it. And this was so because Lia refused to have a DNA test keeping hidden for ever the possibility of her not being his daughter. This possibility back in his mind made him not very careful with his fortune . Eventually at the end of his life, his fortune was practically nil, for Lia to inherit. So there ends in a rather unhappy way all the story,
12. THE OVERALL SOCIAL ENVIRONMENT OF THE STORY.
The scenes of the story are presented within the social and cultural events of the times and with the dominating emotional "climate" of the cold war of the eighties. Demoralization of west societies life-styles and blind political hatred of soviet type ideologies, to anything in the world, are mixed. When they are personalized they became a self-destructive family "moral" which result to new types of subtle Medea attitudes of a modern woman for her child. The emergence of women's new methods to "kill softly" start to extend from their mates to their choices about the fate of their children. The drama of the protagonists, or comedy for the reader, cannot be transcended for the reader simply by any traditional ways of polar opposites. Good luck for tragedy, or happiness for unhappiness, or joy and cheerfulness for heavy sentimentalism and sadness, or forgive for hate and revenge, cannot be the simple medicine here. The author tries to describe the story both in the traditional emotional reactions, but also to show what are the new ways out, if any, that society itself creates. The figure of the child, Lia, as it grows up, is a new dimension. As Lia is influence by society rather than her "family" Silda and Anyang, this gives hints for the new ways out. The older family values collapse in the new ways of societies. It is required new definitions of what a family can be and what are the values that are worth in it.
